=)

2009-09-06T23:24:00.002+08:00

This post is specially dedicated to my dearest darling best friend, Nur Azizah darling. :)

I know you might need these words that I am about to say here so as to give you some motivation for you to go on with life. And so, I’m going to make this entry a special one, specially just for you k.

You know my dear, the moment I read your message this morning, I couldn’t help it but to shed some tears. What you’re going through right now is really heart breaking and I wonder why is life really so cruel towards you. Time after time you’re being put to go through a lot of challenges in life. And yet, you never once succumb to such challenges. You go through and face them with much patience and eventually managed to pull through. And just when you’ve managed to pull through those difficulties, you’re being put to face a new set of obstacles. This is life for you; always full of challenges. Darling, whatever you’re going through in life, always do remember that God is fair. HE won’t torture us and let us handle things that we can’t. You see, if He decides to test you with such huge challenges, it means to show that you are really one strong person, and yes, it is true that you are indeed one strong soul. And like I always said my dear, you must always keep in mind that no matter what happens in life, never ever ever turn your back towards HIM and do always seek help from HIM. InsyaAllah He’ll help you out. Also, always remember that you’re never alone to go through all these k, you still have got great people in your life who love and care for you, and I am always here if you ever need me ok?

Darling, I know that it’s not easy for you and that I am in no position to say all these when I don’t even know how it really feels like to be in your shoes. I do know that it’s always easier said than done dear. But, you know, each time when you confide in me about your problems and all, I can feel the pain that you feel. I really do. This is because you are one of those few people in my life that I really treasure the most and it’ll be really heartless of me not to feel the pain that you feel. That’s the reason why I keep telling you that sometimes I really wish that I could do something to help you, to ease your burden. But I’m always at my wits end and I don’t know of ways to help you; the least that I can do is to just pray for you, hoping that He’ll lighten your burden and guide you with paths that you could follow. I just hope that whatever that you’re going to face in life, you won’t lose hope and faith in yourself and HIM. Don’t let that happen k dear? There’s always a blessing in disguise in all the bad things that happened in life. There is, trust me. You just need time to discover it and lots of patience to go through all that obstacles.

You know, since knowing you, I’ve learnt a lot of useful lessons about life. It has made me realize that life is always never smooth sailing and that we must all the time appreciate every little2 things that we have in life. You should be feeling lucky that He has chosen you to go through all these-not- easy- challenges in life as your experiences in life is what that makes you different from others. In a way or another, it does make you somewhat special from the rest. It is from all these challenges that will make you a better person in times to come and be someone more matured and wiser than you used to be. And most importantly, it will also make you to be well-prepared to be a good someone in the future. :) you know what? You are definitely one of those few people in my life whom I take as an inspiration for me whenever I face a downfall in life. :) don’t get discourage easily when things in life are bad ok darling. There are many people in your life you can count on, including me, your one and only nyonya glamour. =) well I hope this entry will somehow give you some motivation to go through whatever you’re facing right now. If you ever need me, I’m just a phone call away k, bear that in mind tau. =))

Ok now let me squeeze in a little update about myself. Heh =P
English Olevel oral had just passed. And how was it? Well all I can say is that I think I did better as compared to my first attempt, back then in 2005. I don’t want to talk much about it, I just hope that I am able to achieve my target grade for this examinations. To be able to achieve that, what do I need? Effort, effort and more effort. Effort – the only one word that I must bear in mind all the time. NO effort = NO good grades. A LOT effort= VERY GOOD grades. Agree? =) to my dear soulmate, you must help me out k. You’re my mentor, and my success depends largely on you. heh. Remember that.

Oh ya, my education in RP has just ended. Finally. But I’m feeling super sad about it. One main reason why – I won’t be able to see soulmate everyday, every hour, every minute and every second in my life anymore. Right now I’m feeling so miserable not being able to see him often due to Ramadhan (because we’re paying respect to the holy month). How am I going to go through that phase once school starts for him? HOW??? And right now I am torn between pursuing another diploma in early childhood and pursuing my studies in NIE. I don’t know which of these 2 paths I should pursue. Which one of these will give me a better future?? Hmmmmm… I think I shall decide once my English Olevel result is out next year.
Alright, I’ve got nothing more to blog about now. i’m going to sleep now and I am sooooo looking forward for tomorrow!!
Nites everyone.

2009-08-21T17:38:00.001+08:00

I wish I hadn’t known so much about certain things. Now I wish I can turn back the time and undo all those things. It’s a stupid stupid mistake. Well, it bloody hurts. Excuse my language, I don’t know of a better word to use to describe how it feels right now. Curiosity kills the cat. And that’s what happened to me now. What should I do?

And yes, this has got nothing to do with you and me. I badly need you now. :(

Things had changed so drastically. I missed those times. I really do. Why can’t everyone in this world change for the better and not the other way round?

2009-05-26T12:16:00.004+08:00

Psst... I've got a secret to tell you.

I am having a MAJOR crush on someone. He's super extremely adorably C-U-T-E!!

See?? That's the someone i'm attracted and having a MAJOR CRUSH on. Awwwwwww he's really really super duper many2 really soooo cuteeee! I'm melting now. hehheh. =P

2009-05-20T13:51:00.005+08:00

Hi all,

As you can see, I haven’t been blogging much lately. I’m just plain lazy to update my blog now and the mood for blogging has long disappear to some far far away land. Well I apologise for the lack of updates. I don’t even know if my blog has got any avid readers; but every time when I take a look at my blog, I noticed that there’s always an increase of number at the visitor counter. I guess maybe I do have some silent avid readers who will visit my blog without fail and look out for any updates. Or maybe I do have any stalkers stalking on my blog?? Haha no no, that’s freaky. Stalkers, all of you go away, shooooooo! Ok maybe that’s just my wishful thinking, who would want to stalk me right? Heh.

Ok so what have I been up to right now? School has been great for me, considering that I only have got 3 days of classes a week and that all my classes now start at 10am (which is much much later than the usual 830am time) what more can I ask for? The new school principal now is quite strict with the discipline as compared to the previous principal, who was quite lax in discipline matters. This means that there’ll be no more, really really NO MORE skipping of classes. I think this will not affect me much cause with only 3 days a week of classes, why would I want to skip class right? I pity those students who have to come to school 5 days every week and have to endure the grueling hours each day in school. Well I’ve been there and done that ; not really done that cause I think I’ll still have to go through that phase again once I step my foot into the working life. Can’t avoid that – this is life.

Apart from school, I am finally retaking my English O levels after 4 years of waiting. Not that my application for retaking the O level exams was rejected or anything like that, I have to defer my English O levels cause I was just waiting for the right time to retake the exams. With my hectic polytechnic schedule, I don’t think I would be able to have an intensive revision for my English O levels. So right now is the right time for me to retake the exams as I am only left with 1 semester of school in RP and my timetable is not as tight as the previous semesters. I’m taking this examination seriously because I have ( not literally me of course, it’s my parents’ money I am using) invested quite a lot of money for it. The application fee alone is NOT cheap, mind you. And the weekly tuition classes fees I have (again, not literally me) to pay, it all sums up to a lot of money. Hence, I am really pushing myself, doing a lot of intensive revision so as to improve on my language. I really hope that I am able to clinch that B3 grade that I’ve targeted for myself. I know I can, InsyaAllah. =)

Other than all these school/studies stuffs, life has been good for me. Well to be truthful a lot of things happened since the last time I updated my blog. REALLY REALLY A LOT – consist of both good and not so good. Definitely I am not going to type it all out here. For sure, from all those things that I went through, I did learn some things. It’s more to my own self development of course. :)

I have not been seeing all my dear friends for quite some time now. Especially my darling nyonya modern. How are you doing nyonya? I hope she’s doing fine. :( :( I cant wait to meet you and lisza on one of the days. I really cannot wait! And to my darling salwa, I hope she’s doing fine too. I just hope that she’s strong to face whatever she is facing right now. If I were to be in her situation now, I really don’t know how to go through my life every single day. :(

You know what? I can’t wait for the month of JULY to come. You know, I know. =)

Ok till here then. Take care everyone. I don’t know when my next update is going to be.

Byebye!!!!

2009-02-07T17:05:00.001+08:00

I read the newspaper early in the morning and was shocked too see the news of an old schoolmate/classmate died. Im not close to her but we used to be friends back then in sec school and I quite feel the lost and pain too. but what can we do? God loves her more. Al-fatihah to the late Yasmeen.
Life is just too short and really so unexpected.

Anyway, I’m missing my 2 dearest best friends. Salwa Tahir and Azizah Aziz. Can’t wait to date them on one of the days. To my nyonya modern, faster2 finish your exams ok and then we can hurray hurray. Hehe. I miss the 2 of u lorryloads la.

And to the dearest soulmate, I miss you too. terribly.

2009-01-23T21:54:00.002+08:00

Love is in the air! =)
I love you more and more as each day pass.
Only you i want to be with and only you i want to spend my whole life with.
No one else has ever make me feel the way i feel right now.
It's just so indescribable.
I can't imagine how it'll be without you in my life.
No one can ever replace you, my soulmate.
My heart says you are the one and only you can stay in my heart.
I love you soulmate. I will love you till the end of time; this i promise.

Hello, here's some updates..

The current highlight of my life: I'm having a mixed emotions right now. Feeling both sad and happy. Sad - today's the last day of school for the semester. And it also means graduation for the people from my batch. I am sad cause the great friends i have in Rp are leaving me. I cannot graduate yet as i have another 1 more semester to go. I'm sure going to miss them lots!

Happy - At the same time i'm feeling happy for them cause finally they all manage to make it through 3 years in Rp. Time really flies. Well, i wish all of them all the best in their future endeavors. And all the best to me too, hopefully i can survive just another 1 more semester in Rp.

Well, i think somehow it is a good thing for me that i am not graduating soon, at the same time with the students from my batch. 2 reasons why. 1st: if i were to end school right now, i have no idea of where i'm heading to. I haven't given a deep thought about which path i want to take after graduating and with the economy downfall, i think it's pretty hard to compete in the rat race to get a suitable job for me. So, i have 1 more semester to think about my future and i hope the choice that i'll make later on will be the right one. It's hard to make choices and i don't like it. How i wish everything is well planned for me and all i have to do is to just follow with the plan. I'm scared of making choices - to be specific i'm scared of making wrong choices. Whatever it is, i have to learn to be independent and start planning for my future. I hope i will not make any wrong move in making decision and choices for my future.
And as for the 2nd reason, you know i know eh, soulmate.

I'm feeling feeling happy these few days. I feel blessed and i can feel that i'm surrounded with lots and lots of love. From family, from him, from friends. Oh ya, after quite a long time, finally i got to talk again with my closest dearest friend, nana. We haven't been contacting for a long time, and when she called me up the other day, i felt super happy. Talked for awhile and some catch ups on the things that we're missing on each other and of course, some reminiscing. I can sense some changes in her and i'm happy for her. =) Well, shall meet her one of these days , i miss her alot.

Ok that's all for today's pretty long and boring updates.
:)

2009-01-17T20:42:00.007+08:00

Today’s date is 17.01.09. and it’s someone’s BIG day today.

And so I’d like to wish Happy 20^th Birthday to my one and only soulmate, Muhammad Sairi Bin Johari!!

Another digit has been added to your previously 19 year old age. Wah you’re so old already eh uncle. Hehe. Finally you’ve stepped into a full fledge adulthood eh. Mine still a long long long long x10000 way to go. So da old tu, always keep in mind to behave like one 20 yr old uncle and not a kid ok. You’re no longer a small kid k pak cik. Unlike me la. :P I’m still so young, so small, so cute, so chubby like one small adorable little girl. I know you’d agree with that too right? Hehe.

Anyway dearest,

I hope you had a great time spent with me yesterday. Though the time spent yesterday was rather short, we did have a quality time with each other right? And and I’m glad that you love the small2 little gifts I gave you. Take good care of them k, especially the card, I have put in a lot of love in doing it. Don’t destroy it ok.

In this special BIG day of yours, I wish you all the best and may you succeed in whatever you do. May the year ahead be a fruitful and meaningful year for you. I will always pray for your happiness and will always be there for you, supporting you in whatever you do. May we be strong enough and have the patience to go through whatever obstacles we’re going to face later on in life together. Once again I’d like to thank you for everything. I know I’ve thanked you a lot but it’s like not enough. I want to thank you again and again n again. Ever since you came into my life, you brighten it up and bring a lot of smiles and laughter to me. To have you in my life now is the most wonderful thing I could have ever asked for. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH SOULMATE. I love you. =)
And yes, not forgetting, you must be a good boy ok. I mean a good and responsible young man. Must ok!

Ps: i cant wait for Tuesday! Only I know you know eh. hehe.

I want to chop off my hair soooooooooo badlyy. Its getting really unmanageable now. :S
I cant wait for holidays! another 4 more days and im done with school. I mean for temporary cause I still have got 1 more semester to gooooo. My grades this semester are terrible. Really terrible. I think I didn't put in a lot of effort and try hard enough to get good grades. I'm just getting so tired of school and I really want to get over and done with it. Just 1 more semester to go and I must bear with it. And ya, I'm finally going to retake English O level this year. I know its like a bit late to retake now, but it's better than me not giving it another try right? My target would be to get a grade not lower than a B3. I hope I'm able to achieve that. InsyaAllah.

ok thats all for now.
:)

2009-01-02T22:15:00.002+08:00

the year 2009 has just begin yesterday.
wah time really flies. it feels like it was just a few months back when i dated my dearest zizah on the first day of 2008.
and right now, a brand new year has started, leaving 2008 behind.
well how was my 2008?
2008 was a year full of obstacles for me.
2008 was a year with a lot of emotional breakdowns.
2008 was a year i learn a lot of things in life; it was also when i understand what life really means.
2008 was a year i went through a phase of change in myself.
2008 was a year i learn to appreciate little little things in life.
2008 was a year full of memories and heartfelt moments.
in summary, 2008 was a memorable year for me and the things that happened had taught me to be a better person.

well unlike previous years, i decided not to make any new resolutions for 2009. because i've come to realize that i don't really stick to my resolutions each year. so for 2009, i'll just go with the flow and i hope i'm able to at least accomplish some of my resolutions i made for 2008.

and so i ended 2008 and begin 2009 with lovely moments spent with the loved one. thank you so much for everything, i'm really grateful to have u in my life now. =) i cant wait to go through the rest of 2009 with you. definitely my life is going to be different now with u by my side.
i hope 2009 will be a year filled with smiles and laughters and memorable memories for you n me n for everyone else. =)

anyway, i'm all excited for tomorrow! finally the day has come. they're coming back. i cant waaaait... =D

and wednesday, please come by fast. i cant wait to get rid of you, fyp. and soooon its time for me to really pamper myself again. and im sure someone would love to pamper me too. hehe. =)

ok thats all for now. :)

2008-12-17T00:09:00.003+08:00

Kau membiusku dengan cinta
Cinta yang malu ku katakan
Kau membiusku dengan cinta
Sampai aku tak bisa berkata

Kau membiusku sampai aku jadi sering melamun
Memikirkan kita bisakah bersama

=)

well i cannot hide abt this anymore, some of my friends already know abt it. so much of me for wanting to keep it at low profile.

initially when we started to be friends i didnt expect things to be this way. after knowing each other for quite some time, feelings started to develop. and eventually i fell in love with him, the one who never fail to make me smile2 each passing day. the one who treated me like i'm one extremely special and important person in his life. the one who wants to be serious with me. the one who's everything to me right now.

yes, i've found the right one and he is the one. well i guess it's true what my dearest zizah told me before, " you have to go thru all the frogs first in order to get a prince. its just a matter of time. the right one will just come even without u realizing it." it is very true. the right one has come without me realizing it and in fact i didn't actually go search for it. =)

i'll never want to search for anyone else now that i have him in my life. whatever we've been through and have achieved right now, i'll never want to put it to waste. i'll treasure this for as long as i can. remember your promises to me eh; don't ever break them or... you know what will happen. i don't want to go through that phase ever again. and don't let it happen again ok?

i feel blessed. and i'm very happy to have you in my life right now. thank you for everything. =)

to my dear zizah, i'm missing u like crazy la. :( :( :( :( :( i cant wait to go on date with u and we definitely need to have a story-telling session eh. must tau. :)

i am also missing mama n papa like crazy now. i miss them sooo much that i keep seeing them in my dreams. a good sign or bad sign? i don't know. for all i know right now i'm impatiently canceling out days; i cant wait for 3rd january to come. i really cant wait.

and im soooo glad that fyp is soon to be over. soon its time for me to take breather from the stressful fyp and for me to rejuvenate myself. i cant wait to pamper myself againnnnnn.

ok thats all for today's pretty long entry. =)

2008-12-12T16:22:00.000+08:00

i terribly miss them. :'-(

2008-12-01T10:29:00.002+08:00

i seriously don't like them. in a away or another they are all the same.....

2008-11-30T04:29:00.003+08:00

i am going to miss them. in less than 10 hrs they are gg to depart from singapore. it's just too soooooooooooon for them to go. i'm seriously soo not used to be away from them. never once in my life i am separated from them with such a long distance and with quite a long period of time. my house will be dead temporary. it won't be lively without them. i dont know how to survive without them later. don't expect me to be all smiley for the entire one month. i just cant.
ok now i feel like cryingggggggggg.

arghhhhh!! and with this @#$%^& fyp that's making me crazy, im feeling extremely stressful right now. from the time i started doing it till now, my attempt to figure out the part which i have been stuck on for i dont know how many weeks, failed. again! this is really driving me insane. and that super HELPFUL supervisor expects us to finish the codings by this coming 5 dec. i dont know how is that possible. for all i noe my fellow team mates and i are all struggling like mad to finish up what we are supposed to. i dont like you, PHP.

right now i just feel like throwing things or cry so hard or scream or punch anyone or just do anything to release this pent up emotions. arrggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am going mad.

ya Allah give me the strength to overcome this. i really need the strength.

2008-11-23T22:51:00.001+08:00

i need a break.

2008-11-13T23:10:00.002+08:00

Had a date with the dearest mama just now. and with sister too. Over lunch, had a good talk with them. They never fail to paint alot of smiles on my face. Especially during this stressful period, to be around them is all i need to take my stress away.

Oh there's this one part that i like the most during our conversations just now.
me: ma, iqah mrajok ngan kwn iqah.
mama: eh? knape?
me: diorang bully iqah.
mama: sape kwn kau tu? bilang mama. biar mama jetus kepale dorg.
me: giggling
sister: aah ma, dorg bully kakak terok.
me: aah, dorg jahat.
sister: kakak nangis tau ma. semalam kakak balek, kakak nangis kat bilik.
mama: eh? kakak nangis? nak buat ape nangis? tak gune nak nangis utk kawan mcm tu.

ok and the rest i can't really remember. the nangis part tu not really true eh. hehe.
that small part of conversation alone has already make my day. what more if have a super duper long conversation with them. :)

i love them alot la.
30 nov, pls go far far away. dont come and make me :( .

2008-11-08T21:39:00.013+08:00

Hello,

This is going to be a real short entry. Well, my sudden appearance in blogspot is simply because I’d like to make some declarations here.

I terribly miss these 3 beautiful girls. I’ts been quite some time since we last hang out together, joke around, laugh at each other’s silliness and all. I especially miss lina, whom I always regard as a big sister to me. I’m sooooo dying to meet them sooooon. Ok I promise I’ll make time for them once I’m done with this @#$%^ fyp. Ok girls? to my dear lisza , I’m sincerely sorry for all the things I did to u. let’s have a reunion one fine day aite. :)

Also, not forgetting, I’m missing this hawaiian girlfriend of mine. Cik salwa trias, bile awk nak date kte? =)

I’m not looking forward for the month of November to come to its end. I’ve got a deadline to meet. I die die need to complete the fyp by early December. This month is seriously a stressful month for me. And to add on to that, on the 30^th, both mama & papa will officially be away from us for 1 month plus. They are going to Mecca to perform haj. I know 1 month is not long but If you’re going thru something that u don’t like, it may seem like forever. I cannot look at them packing their bags. It’ll just make me want to cry. i should be feeling happy for them cause their dreams to go mecca to perform haj have finally come true. But at the same time I cant bear to see them leaving me all alone here. ok I know I still got my brothers and sister and nenek to accompany me. BUT there’ll be no mama to syg me and for me to get manje with. :(

And I finally know the reasons behind things that happened to us a few months back. I know why. It’s indeed very true that people always say that things happen for reason(s). and I can finally see it now.

Ok, I shall not talk more about this. It’s going to make me sad. I don’t want to be sad.

Anyway, I found this video on youtube which I think is really cute and hilarious. Watch it. That monkey is super mischievous. Haha. It’s about a monkey teasing 2 tigers. It’s so cute la. Like me. Hehe.

2008-10-28T16:12:00.002+08:00

this blog havent had a proper update for quite a some time already. im either lazy or too busy to be involved in this blogging world.

right now im in esplanade library, trying to do some fyp stuffs on my part. from the time i started doing fyp ( which was at 10am, @ national lib) up till now, the output im able to produce is not that much, which is very disappointing as i have targeted to complete quite alot today. but due to my not so good health condition, i cannot be productive today. my health hasn't been good for these past few days. this is worrying me. but i still refuse to go for a checkup. i just simply don't like myself to be anywhere near the doctor. i think the doctors dont want me to be near them either.lol.
the feeling to be sick is horrible. i think my immune system is weak, really weak;not like before. i have been neglecting my health. serve me right for that.

ok i'll have a real proper update in my next entry. which will be on..... ???????

haha ok byebye.

2008-10-17T14:51:00.003+08:00

hello,
i'm now in class still having lesson. and i'm blogging away. hahah. i rarely do this. so the fact that i have so much time blogging while lesson is still going on means that i'm in a state of boredom. today's lesson is seriously boring. not because of the lesson but because of the #$%^& relief faci. i don't like her. the moment i step in class only, i already developed a feeling of dislike towards her. whatnot, the way she facilitate us is like she's being forced to do this job. facilitating us is like a chore for her. such an "inspiring" facilitator i've ever met.
actually this morning i was super duper lazy to go to school. i've got a high temptation to just spend the morning sleeping. but to think again, i can't afford to skip class today as i think i might need this absent days later in december - a stressful month for me. and also, i don't want to disappoint someone by wasting that someone's effort and taking the trouble to wake me up in the morning just to make sure i go to school. i think i depend too much on extrinsic motivation than on intrinsic motivation. no good no good. but at least i'm proud to say that i've become a better learner now. a change for me. :)
hahah ok i duno what more to blog about.
thats all. this just a random entry.
byebye.

2008-10-13T01:16:00.002+08:00

A lot of things have been sitting in my mind lately. But I simply don’t know how to put them in words. Nvm, whatever words I can use to form sentences which make sense I’ll just type it down. BUT I’ll filter out those which I think are quite sensitive to be displayed here. Maybe the sensitive ones I’ll put it in my other blog. And that depends on my mood. :)

So far, school’s been quite ok for me now. I am able to handle everything quite well. I’ve been attending classes religiously this semester. I can say that I’ve been doing good this semester compared to the previous ones. And most importantly I don’t skip classes anymore like nobody’s business. At least if I did now, it’s with valid reasons. I’d like to thank someone, who somehow in a way or another, has been a motivator for me to keep going on to school everyday. In what way, I shall not say it here. :)

I think some of you may know that after I graduate from rp, I very much would like to pursue my studies in NIE. Yes, I aspire to be a teacher. Teaching is actually my 2^nd dream career. My 1^st dream career is actually to be a nurse ( my closed ones know how much I love to be one. Hehe.). But with some reasons I can’t be. So, lucky I have a backup career which I can be in future. However, I’m doubtful that I can achieve to be a teacher in future. Reason: My mom actually secretly hopes that I’ll start working straight away as soon as I graduate from rp. One reason why - when I started working and have my own income, it’ll lessen my parents’ burden in having to support all the costs for schooling. This includes my daily expenses, bus fare, school fees and all. When I think about it, well I can understand my mom’s wish. My parents are ageing and they are no longer as active and energetic as before. And if I were to further my studies in NIE, they’ll have to wait a longer time for me to start earning my own income and at the same time, to support them. But again, if I were to take up another few more years to study, the time I invested will be for a long term investment. I’m still unsure of what I’m going to do after graduate. I definitely need to get information about studying in NIE. Maybe I shall ask my dearest salwa about this since her sister is currently studying there. I see how.

Lately, I have been thinking about something. Something which every one of us is scared to go through. Ever since that day when one of my relatives met with an accident and couldn’t manage to pull through, I’ve been thinking how will it be if my time is up too.. and when will that time be.. it’s scary to think of this but I cant help it, every night I have difficulties sleeping as I’m afraid I won’t wake up the next day. That’s my biggest fear for now. And what more, to add on the fear, another thing that makes me worry is that, will I be able to notice the signs which will be an indication that my time is up soon. Cause the signs that my relative had shown a few weeks before he’s gone is not obvious at all. His family members started to realize it only when he’s no longer in this world. Im not going to disclose what the signs are. Not for any random people to know. Only liana knows about this.

Well I think I’ve poured almost everything out already. I know this post is super duper long. Ok la tts all for now.

Tata.

2008-10-08T21:02:00.006+08:00

It was the darling's birthday yesterday. So, i'd like to take this golden opportunity to wish her a Happy Two-0 Birthday!! hehe. Wah you da two-zero eh. Now da tee, no more teen. Da big girl my nyonya friend ni eh. Suddenly i feel soooo young. haha!

Aniway, it was good that your ibu organized the celebration at your house yesterday. So sorry my dear if i keep hiding myself in your room with hidayah. You know la, we were both shy to mingle around with your relatives. heh. Whatever it is, I know we all had fun yesterday, especially for you where all your loved ones were present to celebrate your birthday with you.
Kesian dia eh, shock banget eh. haha. Nvm, i'll tell your ibu next time do it again. hehee.

To my dear azizah,
Thank you so much for being such a wonderful friend to me all this while. Like i've said, apart from my family, i've never met anyone in my entire life who understands me as much as you do. Your existence in my life is really a blessing for me. Thank you many2 for everything syg. I'll always remember you in my prayers. I wish you all the best in everything you do. May your life's blessed with happiness. :)
Remember what i said eh, you must never forget to syg me always. If not, tk nak fren you. heh =P. Promise eh. :)
Alright, happy2 slalu ok nyonya. I know you've been feeling2 happy for these few months kan? heh. paham2 je la.
Oh, lets have a proper date again on one of these days eh.

p/s: I'm so proud of you for making that decision. I hope it stays that way ok. InsyaAllah. ;)

sorry eh, i steal this pic from your blog. hehe.

Once again, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY SYG!!!

2008-09-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

Why must things go this way? Am I to blame for all the things that happen right now? Am I the one at fault for the mess? I know I haven’t been a good friend to you for the past 1 or 2 years or so. I have not been treating you well & I think ya, it’s right for you to be angry at me. Yes, I have to admit that somehow I deliberately ignored you all these while. i’m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t want to hurt you cause I know I’ve hurt you a lot. That’s the reason why I did this; it’s for own good. You’ve got the hint. I don’t want to get too close to you as I’m afraid I might be giving you a wrong signal, hence at the same time giving you false hopes. I don’t have the intention at all to break our almost 4 years of friendship. I really don’t. Truthfully, I really do treasure our friendship but I can’t help it, I couldn’t bring myself to be close to you. You don’t understand, it wasn’t easy for me then. I got pressurized by the way you treated me; you were too persistent. I didn’t feel right, I needed my own space. When I was on my own, there were a couple of times I tried to develop that kind of feelings for you. I couldn’t do that, my friend. It was really hard for me, having to force myself to do something which I can’t. It has to come naturally.

It was good to hear from you again yesterday. I’m glad that I saw you yesterday. It’s been so long since the last time we met. I thought when we started to contact again yesterday, it’ll stay that way. Do you know that it took me a lot of courage to send you a simple msg yesterday, telling you that I saw you? I was afraid that you might not want to bother about me anymore. But what a shame. Why does it have to end the way it ended yesterday?? Why?? I guess your interpretation of what I told you is not the same with the message I was trying to convey. There are things which I wanted to tell you. A lot of things happened which I wanted to share you with. I think that’s not going to happen now.

I would really want to amend things between us. I’m longing for us to be close friends like before, putting aside any kind of personal matters/issues related to us. I realized that these personal things have been the barrier for us to keep the friendship alive. :(

Am i to be blamed totally????? Forgive me friend….

2008-09-11T22:23:00.001+08:00

I’m super duper excited for tomorrow. Seriously, I can’t wait for tmr, Friday, September 12, 5.30pm to be specific. Why?? Reason: Nyonya glamour will be going on a date tmr with nyonya modern. Yayyyy! It’s been quite awhile now since the last time both of the nyonyas went on a date. And to add on to the excitement, nyonya modern is going to give this nyonya glamour a BIG surprise. Oh my for sure nyonya glamour will get a heart attack by the time she gets the surprise. Hehee. Well, nyonya modern, if nyonya glamour’s wild guess about what the surprise is true, nyonya glamour will be very happy for you. :D & may Allah bless you for that. ok, i shall not elaborate further about it, afraid that it might not be true. But somehow i got this strong instinct that says it is TRUE. Hehehee. For now, all that nyonya glamour can do is to just keep guessing. Heh.

Oh, before i forget, it was my sis birthday a few days ago. She’s 16+1 years old now. A big girl already. She’s my everything in this world. Without her, a lot of things in the house cannot be done. Hehe. U noe wat i mean la eh sister. For that, thank you very much. Love you many2. :D ok, one thing i want to say to you, you better study hard for ur upcoming Os eh. No more slack2! If you don’t get the desired grades i target for you, you watch out. I mean it eh.

Ok, that about it for this entry.

I can’t waitttttttttttttttt. ;)

2008-09-08T21:33:00.002+08:00

hello im back. :)

Ok my humble apologies for the previous post. When i read it over again i think the post somehow make me look like I'm under depression or something. I am not and never will be under depression ok. hehe. It's just that i was venting out my frustration at that point of time. So ya, I'm very OK right now. I shouldn't be saying all those things that i've said in the previous post. Well, i know that this is just one of God's ways to test my patience and faith towards Him. Yes, i've accepted it with an open heart and i know and very much believe that whatever He has given me, is the best for me. Maybe now is just not my time yet. In future who knows i can be successful. :) What's important is that i should never give up in doing my best.

alright to all my muslim friends, do make full use of this holy month of Ramadhan to perform countless of good deeds aite. you'll never know if you'll ever get the chance to meet the next Ramadhan. So let us all work hard for Allah and let's make this Ramadhan much better than the previous ones aite. :)
All the best to all of u. :)

2008-08-26T21:51:00.000+08:00

Results for AY0809 Semester 1 are out. And how’s my result?? Not like what I expected. I was quite excited to see my results upon knowing that it has been released. I was expecting to see good grades for this semester. I was hoping that at least my grades this semester could pull up my overall GPA. Cause I know I have improved quite a lot this semester when compared to the previous ones. And what more, most of the modules that I took this semester are repeated modules. I’m very satisfied with the grades that I am able to produce for these repeated modules. BUT.. upon seeing my results just now, my heart sank. My overall GPA dropped tremendously. Oh crap. Why is that so?? Because for all the repeated modules, I got a P(pass) grade which is equivalent to a grade point of 2.0. I am supposed to get at least a B grade for all. I didn’t know that for all the repeated modules, they’ll convert your grades to a P grade if you are able to get at least a C grade for all. So even though if you’ve gotten an A grade, you’ll still be downgraded to a P grade. Had I known this earlier, I should not have worked really hard for this semester. Or better still, I should go with my instinct. I should not have wasted my time in this school. I should have just go somewhere else, and do much better there. I should have followed my dear azizah to nyp. I should just do that. It’s all too late now. I feel so demoralized right now. I can never do well in studies. i can never make my parents proud of me. Up to this date, I have yet to achieve something that I can be proud of. Nothing. I feel so useless. Do I really deserve to be a failure???? Am I that stupid?? i did not do well in O level and I thought when I’m in college I want to prove to myself and to the people around me that I am capable of doing much better. I guess that’ll never happen. No matter how hard I work, I can never succeed academically. Never. Now tell me how should I look forward for school for the coming semester? How??

I seriously want to cry.…

2008-08-25T18:54:00.000+08:00

At some point of time in your life, you know just who your friends are and who are the people who really care for you. When you’re facing difficulties in life, you know exactly who are those people who’ll stand by you no matter what, will not stop caring for you and just be there for you, making sure you’re ok. It is in this kind of situation that you can tell who are the ones who are good at pretending; pretending to care because they too want to be so called involved in your life. You’ll know who are the ones who fit to be labeled as hypocrites.

Experiences has taught me to be a wise person. And at the same time, it has taught me to be careful of whom I can trust. And it has made me do things I hate – eliminating people from my life. What’s the point of keeping them when they don’t appreciate your existence, least to even acknowledge you as someone in their life? It’s useless; I can’t be bothered to entertain such people.

Oh, as promised I’m sharing with you some words of wisdom i quote from somewhere. Read this & think about it:

“With each fall you experienced in life, you gain extra ounce of knowledge. Happiness does not come from blaming the world of your problems, it comes from how you deal with them. You can choose to be angry or to take it as a lesson learnt. One must always remember that it is not the books that determine our fate – we are the drivers of our own destiny.” – Debra Tan, quoted from Vanilla magazine.

Someone is going to abandon me for three days.. :(

2008-08-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

Heee.. I like my current blogskin now. The sunflower and butterfly compliment the layout. I like it. :)

Holidays are ending pretty soooon. Frankly speaking, I dread school. I think because I’m not really enjoying what I’m learning in school. My interest is more to science stuffs and not business or IT or anything related. Don’t ask me why I chose that course in the first place. :S

When school reopens, the stress is going to sink in. And for this semester, I’m going to do my fyp2 properly and I’m going to take it very very seriously. And I make sure this time round I can achieve my target grade for fyp2. It has to be either an A or a B. I don’t care, I’m going to work really hard for it. I desperately need to get that desired grade. I hope I can, insyaAllah.

Somehow I am looking forward for the month of Ramadhan to come by. :) A month full of goodness, full of blessings. I hope I am able to do a lot of good deeds in this month of Ramadhan. ;) I simply can’t wait.

Ok what else I want to say eh? Hmm.. nothing more I think. Oh in my next entry I’ll share with u an inspiring words of wisdom I quote frm somewhere. I lazy type now. heh.

Ok tts all,

Cherios

2008-08-14T18:43:00.002+08:00

I wanted to update this blog but I seriously don’t have any idea on what to blog about.So, I decided to this questionnaire which I adopted from friendster. Heh. I find it rather fun doing questionnaires especially when you’ve got absolutely nothing to do. Ahah ok, so here you go.........

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED

-------------6 years ago----------
1) How old were you?
13.
2) Where did you go to school?
Bedok View Secondary School.
3) Where did you work?
No work.
4) Where did you live?
Simei Road.
5) Where did you hang out?
Every corner of Bedok Interchange. Those times...
6) Did you wear glasses?
No. I got perfect eyesight. :D
7) Who was/were your best friend(s)?
Erm she was someone from my primary school. Then things happened. And I made new close friends.
8) How many tattoos did you have?
No have.
9) How many piercings did you have?
A pair.
10) What car did you drive?
Haha. At the age of 13 I can drive eh.
11) Had you been to a real party?
Ermm birthday party?
12) Had you had your heart broken?
At 13, too young to get my heart broken. Hehe.
13) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced:
Single then. And still single now. :D

--------------------Today--------------------
1) How old are you?
Eighteen plus one.
2) Where do you go to school?
Republic Polytechnic.
3) Where do you work?
No work. ;)
4) Where do you live?
Simei Road.
5) Where do you hang out?
No specific place la. A lot of places. But Bedok Interchange is still my fav place, though it’s a bit rundown now.:)
6) Do you wear glasses?
NO. My eyesight is still perfect. :D
7) Who are your bestfriend (s)?
Azizah & Salwa. :D They are my dearest.
8) How many tattoos do you have?
No have.
9) How many piercings do you have?
Still a pair.
10) What car do you drive?
I don’t drive and I won’t drive. I still prefer taking public transport. :D
11) Had your heart broken?
Errrmmmmmmmm
12) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
Single. And I’m very contented. :)

WHAT WERE YOU DOING..
1 MINUTE AGO: doing this.
1 HOUR AGO: talked to aery & still talking to aery now. Hehe.
1 DAY AGO: went to tekong. :)
1YEAR AGO: erm ntah la. 1 yr ago wasn’t as good as now.
I LOVE: myself and my loved ones.
I HATE: don’t know. hehe
I FEAR: many2 things :S.
I FEEL: i don’t know what i’m feeling right now. ish.
I PLAY: what? Sports? No have la. Oh i used to love playing badminton.
I MISS: those days when I can have my girlfriends all by myself. Now i can’t. :(
I NEED: erm i think courage??
I KNOW: things happen for a reason.
I THINK: i’m a strong person. Heh.

Ok and that’s the end. :)

2008-08-10T21:43:00.005+08:00

I have been one happy goober for the past few days. Thanks to all those lovely people who have been making me :) for these past few days. :D Thank you all, I sincerely love all of u. :)
And thank you to you too. For always making me smile2 and laugh2. You know who you are. ;)

Hehe. I especially like this part. And all the other parts. :)

ok that's all
cherios;
;)

2008-08-05T15:33:00.004+08:00

Other than my family members, these are the two people whom I cannot live my life without.
They play a very significant role in my life. Each time whenever I got the chance to see them, they never fail to carve a lot of smiles on my face. They are the people whom I considered as my only true friends. They are also the ones who have seen the good side, bad side and ugly side of me; in fact every side of me. And they don't really care what or who I am. They understand me inside out. I can really relate myself to them better than I do to my other friends. The reason why I blog about this is simply because i miss them many2. I really do. :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( My heart's calling for them to be with me now, at this moment.
I need them now. I think if I can have a dose of them everyday, my life's contented. I need nothing else. That'll be enough.

Salwa darling; 30 th August will be the date eh. I sooooo can't wait to see you. So cute la you, you booked me so early. :D
Zizah darling; meet me asap pleaaasseee my dear. I don't mind any day, we can meet on one of the weekdays after school. I don't care if i'll get tired. To see you is the top priority now. really. Set a date ok.

ok cherios;
:)

2008-08-03T21:42:00.004+08:00

"You won’t appreciate the little good things in life if you keep running away from the pain and difficulties you’re put to face in life. "

Well, this is indeed true. One has to go through a certain level of hardship in life in order to know and feel the good things in life. By this, one can then learn to appreciate every little advantages that he/she has. :)

Be grateful of what you have in life, my dear friends. Don’t start appreciating something when you’re already losing it. That’ll be too late and no, you can never turn back time to make any amendments. You’ll only have yourself to feel sorry for.

I do believe in miracles. I really do. :)

2008-07-31T22:09:00.004+08:00

I have a confession to make.

I miss this girl lorryload. :( I badly want to see her. There are a lot of things that I’ve been wanting to share with her. I need to spill out every single thing to her. She’s my one and only confidante. Nur Azizah, meet me pretty soooon pleaseeee. :( :(

Somehow I’m not feeling that good right now. I have been thinking alot about the bad dream I had a few nights ago. It’s really affecting me. What if it happen for real? It’s worrying me. I am really not prepared for it. I am not prepared to face a new obstacle right now. Just not yet. Not when I’ve just managed to pull through the difficulties you had put me to face a few months back. Give me the strength that I need , ya Allah. I can’t bear to see another sadness in her face. I really can’t. .
I think I’m thinking too much. Well, that’s because I treasure it. It meant the world to me. I’ve been praying every night hoping that things will get better. That things will change. That everything will get back to how it used to be. One fine day I hope God will grant my wish. I really hope He will.

This kind of feelings just make me feel want to go to sleep. And what more, I am feeling groggy right now. The temptation to crawl to bed and sleep my night away is high. But I can’t, I still got a bit of studying to do for my final UT tomorrow.

Ok, I’ve got nothing more to say. I don’t know how to end this entry. Ok I guess it ends here.

Byebye.

2008-07-27T18:15:00.012+08:00

I am supposed to study right now but somehow my brains refused to digest anything at this moment. Ok anyway, these are the pictures we took after FYP presentation the other day. Actually I’ve got nothing much to say. ok, so ya, only pictures in this post.

Liana and I.

Iqah, Liana & 3/4 of Wan's group ( Kholique, Niezza, Wan) . I wasn't smiling properly, that girl beside me almost made me laugh.

The lepak session @ Marina Sq.

I don't even know what I was trying to do. And that Wan took a close-up pic of us. haha. Thanks eh Wan.

The "perfectly" taken pictures of the 3 beauties. :)

See, she loves me. :)

Ok, that's all. These are only some of the pictures we took, the rest are too 'nice' to be displayed.

alright, cherios;

2008-07-24T22:54:00.005+08:00

Finally, I can declare that FYP1 is officially over. No more staying-back-late-at-school days and the sleepless nights. Well, at least for now. FYP2 has yet to start. & I shall not talk about it now; I don’t want the stress of FYP2 to sink in just yet. :)

The presentation yesterday wasn’t that good, but still it wasn’t that bad too. The two assessors didn’t look friendly at all like how we expected them to be. In fact, we were intimidated of them. They bombarded us with those kinds of questions that made us look like as if we didn’t really put in much effort in doing the project. I somehow got demoralized by that. But I’m glad that at least we were able to answer all of their questions.

When it was all over, I took quite some time to settle down. Ok I shall not elaborate on this. My dear Zizah, I need to meet u soon. I really need to. I need to talk to u about this. I think you’re the only person who’ll understand the situation I’m facing now.

Ok, that’s it for FYP update; I don’t know what more to say. Actually I intended to write much much longer than this, but somehow I’m running out of words. I’m both mentally and physically exhausted.

I couldn't upload pictures that we took after FYP presentation. The internet connection seems to have an issue with me. :( I'll upload them in the next post.

To someone: that entry in ur blog is really sweet. I keep reading it over and over again. And each time I read, I smiled picturing it in my mind. Well, let’s just wait and see what it means eh. :)

2008-07-20T19:38:00.002+08:00

Am I blessed or cursed with a soft heart???
I think I am just too gullible. pffftt.

Time and again I have been reminding myself to be careful. And again I am soon going to fall into the trap. I am not liking this. Why do they have to be such a [insert whatever word that suit to describe them]?

I am not going to elaborate further about this. I am just going to go with the flow. Whatever that's going to happen, I am prepared.

2008-07-19T21:14:00.002+08:00

As the date is drawing nearer, I’m getting more and more nervous. I’m afraid that I might screw up during presentation on that day. I’m praying hard that I can pass this FYP1. I really hope I can. InsyaAllah.

I think I did quite badly for all the UT3s. I don’t really have the time to study for UT3s as FYP had taken all my time away. And now, I’m going to study real hard for UT4s. I don’t want to get any grades lower than a B for all UT4s considering that my daily grades now are not really satisfactory. There are quite a few Xs and red marks grades for all the modules. Not good.

I can’t wait for the semester to end. But I’m not anticipating for the next semester to begin. Really. Year 3 life is as not as easy as I thought it would be. Sadded.

I don’t know what more I can talk about now. My mind’s just occupied with FYP FYP and more FYP.

All the best to me & my team.

2008-07-11T23:36:00.001+08:00

I'm extremely exhausted now. I really can't wait for Monday to pass by. I just want to be able to go home at a normal timing everyday when school ends which is at 4pm. I have been making school as my home for the past few weeks. :( sad.
I MISS MY HOME TERRIBLY. I MISS SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH MY FAMILY. =(
Monday, please pass by fast.. ticktockticktock.

Today I did not attend class. Because of fyp la. & so I stayed the whole day alone in Library. Was msning with Liana and she made me look like a mad person by making me laugh so hard. Yes, note that I was alone. haha. She sent me what she wrote in her rj for sales management module. The question looks something like this : "How far will you go to close a sale?". I'm not sure of the exact question but it's somewhere along that line. And read what she wrote:

"I will not go very far to close a sale. Although I have
not been the database, this is how it looks like. As I
am more of a buyer than a seller, I know what buyers are
looking for and and give them a good sales. I myself do
not like the certain way sales are being handled i her
current company. I am planning to that they gave me a
beard me Vios. For fake good, Singapore does take quite
a effective rule from number one."

Hahah. The whole paragraph doesn't make sense at all, especially those sentences in red. Haha this is what fyp did to her. hahaha
I wasn't alone in the library throughout, I joined Wan's team later in the afternoon.

Ouh the case is finally solved. I mean almost solved. The responsible culprit has been made to pay a sum of fines. And now my parents are trying to get compensation money from him for the hospital expenses and damages done to papa's bike. I can see the glow in mama's face yesterday. I can feel the pain she'd been through and it really hurt me to see her having to face this. Well, I have long forgiven that man. It's just not right to hold grudges. Like I've said before, I'm taking this as a test from the One above. I've always believe that whatever happens in life, there's always a blessing in disguise. All I need to do is to accept things as it is and have patience in going through it. :)

Ok, I'm going to do the necessary things now.

cherios;
:)

2008-07-10T00:45:00.003+08:00

I love Wednesday, 9th of July. Met the supervisor earlier in the day. After presenting to him our almost completed project, I shot him with a burning question. Haha I think my team mates didn't expect me to ask him that kind of question. I felt a bit relieved when he told us that he definitely won't fail us. Well that's only 50% of the overall result. The other half depends on how we performed during the presentation. :)
I felt happy today. And that Liana had to make me laugh so hard just now. Haha. Actually it's fun to work on fyp with Wan's group around.
Oh I'm very satisfied with my banking ut2. Ut1 was such a killer and I did quite bad for it. Ut2 was much2 better and I'm able to get an A! Alhamdulillah. :)
Hard work pays you see.

I won't be attending class tmr. Again. I have to. I'll be in the library the whole day. I need to get the website completed by tomorrow cause we'll have to show the supervisor our completed work on Friday. Super rush.

ok, i'm going to continue doing fyp now.

cherios
;)

2008-07-08T01:34:00.003+08:00

Hi all,

I'm actually feeling super exhausted now. It's only the first day of the week & my energy is worn out already. Bad. Sadded man. :(
Niway, ya, the reason why I'm still awake now is not because of FYP. I don't know, lots of things have been occupying my mind lately. I've been thinking a lot lately. That's part of the reason why I'm more reserved than usual nowadays.
I don't know how to put it in words the things that have been playing in my mind.
You know, I don't know why I got all emotional just now. Out of the blue, my eyes were teary while I was on the way home in the bus just now. Seriously, I have no idea what triggered this. I think maybe it's because of too much stress that I'm going through right now. I don't know how to go about describing this la.

I'm missing my family dearly. I missed those happy times we had. I missed those closed bonds we used to have. I simply missed everything that used to exist in the house, with a family of 6. Now, things changed =( . Ok, I shall not disclose anything here.

FYP date of submission is drawing near... I can't wait to get over & done with this fyp1. I ' m praying hard hoping that I'll pass this fyp. Hopefully my hard works are paid off. InsyaAllah. FYP meeting with the 2 girls just now was rather fun. Ok, they cheered me up amidst the pressure we're having. I haven't been that crazy for quite a long time && thanks to Liana & her antics, I became like one of her species. hahah.

Zizah darling, i MISS you.. =( We must meet up once EVERYTHING's over aite. I want see you. I want see you. I want see you.

** The dream yesterday seemed so real.. K nvm, get over it la.**

2008-06-24T09:52:00.003+08:00

Hi,

I know I am supposed to be on a hiatus now. But I am bored and so I decided to post something.
Right now, I am in my lovely school. Not in class though, I’m somewhere in a cozy environment called the LIBRARY. Yeap, I’m skipping class today if you’re wondering. Actually I don’t have the intention to do so but I was late today (typical lame excuse, I know), so yea, I decided not to be a good girl and I skipped class. Oh ya, when I tried to access LEO just now to see my new group arrangement, it was denied. The system says this is due to me not paying my school fees. Imagine if I go to class just now, and I couldn’t get in to LEO. Great. Haha anyway I am going to pay it later so it’s nothing for me to worry about la.

I have a feeling of guilt. I did not attend class yesterday also. Ok, yesterday I totally did not go to school as I was having a great menstrual illness. Haha I don’t even know if there are such words as menstrual illness. Menstrual cramps, there is. But illness? Ahah k nevermind. You know, the one thing I am always not looking forward is this season of the month. I think most girls do. It is a season of torturing.. :( I don’t mind facing this without having to feel any pain, or side effects or whatsoever. During the pre- season sometimes I can get all moody and not even talk for the whole day. I’ll withdraw myself from the whole world and be on my own. It’s bad, I know. Yesterday was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. I was too weak to even stand. The moment I stand for a few seconds only, I felt like I’d black out any time. I was scared. And in my mind I was thinking of the worst that could happen. Ok, never mind, don’t want talk about it.

Lately, I’ve been like this:

Haha. I’ve been having difficulty in getting up form bed everyday now. Super restless.

Okla that’s it. Don’t know what else to write about. K byebye.

2008-06-11T17:44:00.002+08:00

Hi,
this going to be my last post before i go on a hiatus.
I found this video on youtube; the song carries a deep meaning. It's very good to listen to it when you're feeling stressed out; it helps cease your stress. Well, it works for me.

Ok that's all
take care people.
:)

2008-06-04T18:20:00.005+08:00

Hi,

I should not be blogging now but somehow I feel the need to blog about something. I was doing some FYP stuffs when I got bored and I did something else. I decided to surf the net, browsing through some random blogs - blogs belonged to owners that I do not know nor having any relations to me at all. I don't know why I bothered to this unimportant thing. But again I guess I was just feeling bored after the grueling hours of doing fyp. And I was shocked with something which I found in some particular related blogs about a particular someone. It saddened me to see it happened that way. It should not have ended the way it is. Though I may not know you or have any particular relations with you, I can feel what you had been through. Somehow I had been through part of of what you were going through. I wish I could reach out to you but I guess I was just a tad late in discovering your existence. After reading through some of the entries in your blog, I can see that you're one beautiful young lady inside out. Despite all the obstacles and complications that you had to go through in life, you stayed strong. But it wasn't long enough for you to succeed to be free from all these sufferings. You couldn't stay any longer and chose to go. Your stories really inspire me.

Well, as a human being with feelings, I am somehow quite affected by this. It's so sad that she had to go at such a young age. I'm taking this as another lesson in life for me. I'm neither putting up any links here nor mentioning her name. & i won't reveal any infos abt this someone to anyone. I'm paying respect to her. This is the least that I can do for a stranger.

Ok I better end here.
take care everone. & all the best to me for fyp. :\
I think I'm going to stop blogging for awhile till FYP1 is over.

*i am addicted to the song 'ayat-ayat cinta'*

cherios.

2008-06-01T22:53:00.011+08:00

Hello,

Yea, as mentioned before, I had a date with dear Salwa yesterday. It was a date cum birthday celebration for her. Went to Changi Airport, her favorite place. It felt so good to spend time with her. Just to sum it up, I had fun with her yesterday. I'm running out of words actually cause I'm feeling exhausted right now due to a lack of rest. :(

To Salwa darling: Hope you like the small gift specially from me to you. :)
Once again Happy (belated) 19th Birthday baby girl! :D

Next date : with Zizah darling. Call me up soon k? Cause I'll be busy with fyp during these two weeks of holidays. I tell you, my 'holidays' are going to be much fun! haha.

Ok, cherios;
;)

2008-05-31T00:04:00.006+08:00

Hi world,

Guess what? Today, Friday the 30th May, the SIT students of RP received an unexpected email this morning. And it was regarding FYP, updating the SIT students with the submission date and the presentation date. The submission date: 14th July 2008. Evaluation date: from 16th July to 30th July.

Oh how great! Super great. ARGHH! How in the world are we going to complete the whole project on time? HOWWWWWW? I'm extremely worried. When I read the email earlier this day, my mood for the day's lesson was spoiled instantly. I seriously have no idea how this is going to be possible when all along, the works done are purely based on efforts of two team members. Yes, only two team members out of 4 are actually active all the time for FYP. These two are the ones who have been working hard and putting in A LOT of efforts in completing the tasks required.It seems like these two are the only ones that are constantly worried about FYP and they are the ones who are seen to be taking this matter SERIOUSLY. All along, it has only been the TWO of them. Let me have the honor to name these two hardworking people. They are Liana & Iqah. Yes, Liana & Iqah. UGGHH! You know how stressful it is to be in this situation? A situation where your team mates refused to cooperate with you? You know how it feels like? You know how annoying and frustrating it can get?? You know how? Well you'll know when you experience it. URGH! How am i ever going to survive with this on going problem?????????
Enough la, i don't want talk about it anymore. Thinking about it is making me mad.

Oh yea, today I had data comm UT and I think I did not do that well. :( Oh well...
Went window shopping with Liana & Wan at TM after school. Wah... It's been soo long since I last did that with my friends. Missed those times when I had so much free time to do whatever I want. :( Oh how can i forget. Tomorrow a day out with Salwa! I can't waittttttt. :)
I think, I break my own record of not eating any meal in a day. Haha was surprised that I could actually survive the long hours of school without eating any proper meal. see la, I'm getting thinner and thinner by the day. Skip meal some more. :(

Ok la i've got nothing more to say already.

cherios.

2008-05-28T22:18:00.008+08:00

Hello,

I am supposed to do some fyp things now. But after seeing the results of two of my UTs, the mood has faded. And so i decided to do this unimportant thing. I am so disappointed with the grades I've gotten for both Data Comm and Banking UTs. UGHHHH! Ok, not that I've not expected to get a lousy grade for Banking UT, but to be able to produce that kind of grade for Data Comm UT is way out of my expectation. I had put in so much effort studying for the test and I did my best during the test. But in the end it's not worth the efforts at all! Disappointed. :(
Well, at least my predicted module grade is not bad, thanks to my daily grades. Ok, so to say, I shall not get so stressed up cause there's still hope to get good grade for the module . I know I am capable of doing better than this.

And as for Banking module, I don't know what to say. I had perform badly for the first UT and now I'm pinning on hope for my second UT and the coming subsequent UTs. Currently the predicted module grade is super disappointing. I really need to buck up. Ok, I need to keep telling this to myself : I MUST NOT SUCCUMB TO FAILURE! Oh, not that I have failed, just barely passed. Any difference? Ahah.
Ok, take a look at the diagrams below. The diagrams say it all.

These are considered the best 3 modules so far. The Banking module's grades are too "good" to be displayed. The diagrams are not that clear; you may click on it to get a better view.

I won't be going to school tomorrow. Yeah. Told my mom, and she said this in malay, " Baguslah, boleh tolong mama buat kerja rumah besok." In translation which means, " Good, you can help me out with the house chores tomorrow." Hahaha. Some kind of encouragement or what? This'll be the first time I'm going to be absent for Thursday's module, which is Data Comm. Considering that my daily grades and predicted module grades are quite good, I have decided to take a day off from school. How great. So far up to date, I have gotten only one x for my daily grades for each module (inclusive of tmr's module) . An x means I was absent from school. heh.

I can't wait for Saturday to pass by. I'll be having a date with the dearest Salwa. Missed her a lot. I can't wait. I just need to take a breather from school and put my mind off whatever things that have been making me stressed up lately. And to dear Zizah, do set a date for us also k? I'll be having my holidays for the coming next two weeks.

Oh speaking of holidays, I won't be able to have proper holidays since it'll be taken up for FYP. UGH! So much for HOLIDAYS. FYP sucks. Really it does. :( I don't want to talk about it. It's making me mad.
I must ENDURE, ENDURE, ENDURE.

Ok that's it for now.

cherios,
:)

2008-05-26T21:51:00.001+08:00

I have the sudden emotion of missing someone. A long lost friend. I have been thinking a lot about this friend lately. I missed those times when we’d often see each other and get bonded like real close friends. I don’t know what triggers this emotion to build up; it just occurs out of sudden. And I mean it, the emotion is building up. It’s brewing. Oh, how badly I miss this friend. It’s been real long since I’ve last seen or spoke to this friend. I don’t know friend where about, I don’t know how friend’s doing. Sometimes I wonder.. Was that incident the cause of our friendship to be on the rocks? Oh how can I tell when I don’t even know what’s happened to our friendship. After the termination period, we’ve both gone our separate ways. What a shame. The fond memories that we shared still lingers in my head. Never will I forget the times we’ve went through. I’m hoping that our paths will cross again. I’m really hoping.

2008-05-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

Know what is stressing me out right now?
It's none other than the stupid fyp.
I am now struggling doing some component(s) of the fyp, and from the time I started(which was like hours ago) up till now, I have yet to come up with anything sensible. :(
Ok, I think to feel frustrated is reasonable right now.
And whatnot, somehow I have a bad feeling that I'm not going to do well in this. Not like what I've expected.
This is just my 1st fyp and I'm feeling discouraged already. Arrrgggghhh!! & what's to come in my 2nd fyp? I am so not anticipating for it.
Now, i really understand what it meant when the facilitators told us this famous quote just before school term ends last year: "when choosing your fyp team mates, choose wisely" .
I truly understand the underlying meaning of that phrase now which I don't really bother about then. How silly.
I'm not hinting on anything. If you can see it, you know what I'm referring to.
I am super worried right now. :( :( :(
Where's all these leading us to? Where??
And i realised that there's seriously not much time left if we keep going on with this pace. There's SO MUCH things to do in just little time.

Ok, I am going haywire already. I am stress. I am stress. I am stress.

2008-05-09T13:37:00.003+08:00

Hi,

Here’s a little update of what I’ve been up to lately. A lot has happened while I’m away from this blogging world. Well, I’m not going to type down every single thing that happened. I am super lazy. So, just some snippets to summarize things up will do aite.

I’m truly grateful and thankful to God that things are getting back to normal. I know that this is just some kind of test for me (us) to go through. The sun’s shining again. :)
&& I love them more than ever. :D

School’s been good for me so far. It’s just that sometimes I get stressed up with FYP. And oh not forgetting, PP too. Well, at least my proposal for PP has been approved. That’s a relief. My CE points are soon to be cleared. Up to date, I’ve gotten 36 out of 40 points. Juusst 4 more to go. :)) And something unusual, I’ve been looking forward for school everyday. There are 3 reasons why.

One- I have been getting good grades for almost all modules (except for Financial & Banking application module) since school started. Since I’m repeating 3 of the year 2 modules, somehow I find it pretty easy to score in all. With the good grades that I am able to produce, in a way or so, I am very much motivated to go school every day. :)

Two - Meet friends of course. Friends are the people who make school a fun place to be. :))

Three- For the last reason, I’m keeping it a secret. Not for any random people to know.

I think right now I’m leading a boring life. I have not been going out having some leisure activities like shopping, watching movies or whatsoever ever since school started. And, with mama still under quarantine at home, fun won’t be fun. :(

**I am craving for sushi.**

2008-05-06T22:01:00.003+08:00

It's like for the first time ever. It's the real first time for me in RP.
I can't make any statement now.
& I'm not giving out any hints.
Just not yet.
How do i go about describing this?

ok, a proper update will be up in the next entry. :)

2008-04-20T20:31:00.001+08:00

Often good things don't come on it's own. and most of the time, human beings tend to be unappreciative. appreciations are shown only after one/ a series of bad event(s) happened.

in urban life, it is prevalant to see ungrateful human beings. they fret and whine abt almost everything in life. even abt trivial matters.

care and concern towards one another can no longer be felt. maybe there is but well only for a handful of those who cared.

the act of respect's less practised. morality's often being dumped. displaying good & decent morals; and prim & proper behaviors among human beings is close to being diminished.

alot of unfortunate series of events had happened in this world. and they are all beyond control. yet, human beings still do not show any signs of realisation. realisation that the world is coming near to its end. human beings just don't care. they do not know that as the world is getting better, the earth is deteriorating.

human beings are just too lost in their world of illusions & delusions, whatever it is.

it's a no doubt that only a handful of human beings would understand what message is being conveyed.

is there any human beings out there who still care??

2008-04-16T23:14:00.004+08:00

I am pretty exhausted now but I just couldn't sleep. I really don't like to be in this kind of situation whereby both my body and mind are lethargic and yet i just can't seem to be able to sleep. haiz.. Super annoying.

I terribly miss having my mama at home. I've been feeling rather empty ever since she's been warded in hospital. The house seems super silence without her existence. And i have not been looking forward for each new day to come. Having to wake up early in the morning without a touch of a mother makes me sad. I really miss walking by her side, holding her hand whenever we go out. I want to do all those things that we used to do together again..

School work is piling up. FYP FYP FYP. Fyp alone can make me go bonkers. Then there's PP which i have yet to complete. And CE points to clear.
I'm begining to feel the pressure. Can i just fastforward this semester?

Finally, today, i've gotten myslf a membership card from thefaceshop! yeah. It's not easy to get the membership card know. I've got to spend a total of $100 to be able to be a member. And the good thing is the amount spent does not have to come in a single receipt. Thanks ah liana for contributing your receipt to let me get the card. :)

Now i'm contemplating. Should i go school tmr or not? Cause right now i am totally worn out. Hmm...

2008-04-11T11:38:00.005+08:00

Things aren’t going to be the same,
Everything’s going to change.
It happened out of sudden,
It happened out of anyone’s expectation.
Grieve, dejected, gloom, confusion; all fused into one.
The degree of sadness is measureless;
The kind of sadness too deep for anyone to possess.
Nothing in this world matters now,
Getting back to normal is what I hope for now.
Faces of you keep picturing in my mind;
Wondering when can we share that happiness again.
I pray, I pray, and I pray…

That pretty much summarizes the feelings deep inside me. No one expected it to happen. I guess this is my fate. My family’s fate. And I’m still trying to accept this fate. It happened out of sudden; worst, we are unprepared. I’m confused and I don’t know if I should blame anyone here. Maybe I should not. But I think I should. If that stupid heartless jerk had offered any kind of help needed, I won’t be fuming with rage now. You jolly well know it’s your fault and yet you ran away with your guilt. What kind of person are you? I think I can spell it out for you; S-E-L-F-I-S-H! You dare drove off after knowing you’ve hit a small vehicle trying to maneuver its way out from danger. How could you mister! Yes, if you’ll have guessed, I’m here talking about a hit & run case. And, my parents happened to be the unfortunate ones to be the victims. So what if you’re carrying passenger(s) at that point of time. Can’t u just see that their lives were at stake when it happened? Where’s your sense of humanity?? Where?? Cruel shit. My father was waving frantically at you from the back hoping that you’d stop; why didn’t you? Why?? Now look at what you’ve done to my only mom! The damages done to her body are pretty bad. For your reckless driving, my mom has to pay the price. Thank you mister. I hope you’ll face a series of unfortunate events in your life in times to come. I really hope you will.

Oh God, I don’t know how I am going to face the world now. Everywhere I turn, everywhere I go, I keep picturing the memorable moments that we shared. Knowing that I can no longer do those things that we used to together again, makes me sad. It really saddened me to see you in the state you’re in. I can feel the pain that you’re feeling. God, I’m begging you to please release my mom from this suffering. Please, ya Allah. I can’t take it. I really can’t….

2008-04-02T22:30:00.008+08:00

Hi all,

My birthday has just passed. Like I said before, I wasn’t expecting anything for my birthday but my loved ones have made it a memorable one. And this entry is a tribute to them.

Throughout 19 years of living in this world, I have learnt a lot of things. It is by going through the tribulations in life that had taught me the real meaning of hardship. And definitely it has made me a wiser person. I have come to realize that life is short; way too short than we could ever imagine. The distance between us and death is very close; too close like two pieces of paper glued together. And it’s all just a matter of time; the right time for one to go. No one knows when their time to go is. I am not an exception. This realization has shaped me who and what I am now. I am in the process of changing myself into becoming a better me. I have vowed to myself that I’ll carry out my responsibilities as a daughter, student and a slave to God without fail and with much faith.

Looking back, I had been someone who always tried so hard to fit in everywhere I go. I was arrogant & ignorant to a lot of things around me. I often took things for granted and wasn’t appreciative. And I’ve made countless of mistakes; one after another without taking any of it as a lesson to learn from. I was irrational most of the time and acted based on my emotions. This inevitably brought trouble to me; double trouble. But now I am thankful to God that He still loves me albeit all the stupid things I’ve done. A lot of 2nd chances were given to me and yet I took them for granted. I have finally come to my senses. The incident that took place at the end of the year 2007 was such an eye opener for me. And I got a grasp of the message that He had sent. With that, I decided to change for good.

I am grateful that God had put several precious people in my life. These people have been my source of inspiration and encouragement whenever I felt like giving up in anything I do.

My family; they play a huge part of an important role in my life. Without them, I won’t be where I am today. They have also shaped who I am today, my qualities and my characteristics. My mama & papa, they are my idols. They have sacrificed a lot for me. Nothing in this world can compare to all the things they had done for me. And no words can ever describe how much I love them. My brothers, though we are far apart in almost everything, have been part of my source of inspiration to work hard in achieving success. My sister, she has always been my listening ear and a best friend to me. I’m beginning to cherish every single second spent with my family. I loved them more than anything in the world. In other words, they are everything in this world to me. And I can’t conceive of my life without them.

My friends; they also play part of another important role in my life. From the closed ones to the acquaintances, they all have parts to play. I may have known a lot of people and made a lot of friends in my journey of life. BUT there are only a few of them that I am relatively closed with and I can really relate to. They are the ones who really understand and know me inside out. They appreciate the whole me and are not judgmental towards me. Let me take this opportunity to dedicate a few lines to them.

I’ll start with Salwa. Salwa has been my real good, best & closed friend ever since we were in secondary school. We started to be friends only when were in secondary 2. We weren’t really close then but as time go by; we began to hang out together and started sharing a lot of things. She had been by my side whenever I felt down. She stood by me in whatever situations I faced and in whatever I do. She had been my source of motivation to study hard and score in my studies. She never fails to make my day. There were times that we did go through several rough patches in our friendship; we still manage to get things back on track. I can’t find any suitable words to describe how much she really meant to me. And here I am trying to express my gratitude to her for all that she had done for me. Though we aren’t close now like how we used to be, she’s always on my mind & in my heart. I will never ever forget the times we spent together and the memories we shared. This, I promise. :) and I hope we’ll still keep in contact in years to come. & thank you very much for the date on 27 march 2008. It was such a heartfelt moment.

Next is Azizah. I’ve known Azizah for only 2+ years and I’m thankful to her that she has always been there for me. Initially before we started as friends, I never thought that we could ever get this close. Then, we were bonded by an IG in RP. We became friends. We discovered that we shared a lot of common interests and naturally we got closed. Like Salwa, she has been by my side and never fails to make my day. Whenever she’s around, I can just be myself and be crazy like nobody’s business. I don’t have to worry about what she thinks about me. There are some useful lessons that I picked up from our friendship along the way. She has definitely taught me a lot. One of the most important things I learnt from her is the importance of family bond. Then, I have never really appreciated the value of family bond. But after a while of having her as my good, best & close friend, I have come to appreciate every little things my family has done for me. For that, thank you very much Azizah. I hope our friendship stays as it is even though we are going on two separate paths now, like you said. I wish you all the best in you future endeavors and may you succeed in your studies. If you ever need my help, I’m just a phone call away. I’m more than happy to help you. :) & thank you very much for the date on 28 march 2008. It was also such a heartfelt moment. :)

And last is Azalina. I’ve always regarded Azalina as a big sister to me. We were in the same class in our first semester, first year in RP. That was how we knew each other. We became friends and gradually got closed. But sadly, she left RP just after a few weeks of semester 2, year 1. I could still remember vividly the times that we spent together when she was a student in RP just like me. With her around, I had the motivations to attend school everyday. I did not have to worry of not having anyone to befriend me in school cause I thought having her is good enough. She was the one whom I could look up to in school when I needed help. And since I hanged around with her most of the time, there were a lot of things that we did share. Now, it’s a shame that we weren’t close like we used to be. May be because we’ve gone our separate ways and that both are busy with each others’ stuffs. Nevertheless, she’s always in my heart and mind. And I can sense that she still do keep me in her mind. Telepathy you may say. She’s been missed much by me. Hopefully we could reunite one fine day aite. :)

Also, there are some other friends that I did not mention here. They are as important as the three that I’ve mentioned. Without them, my life would be dull. Though I rarely contact some of them, it does not mean that they are forgotten. I always remember them in my prayers, together with the three I’ve mentioned. To ALL my friends, thank you very much for all your care and concern towards me. I really appreciate your existence in my life. You guys are such a blessing.:)
Ok I guess I’ve said enough. I’d like to end my entry with a big THANK YOU to all those who have made my life worth living. I sincerely love all of you. Thank you :)

2008-03-25T17:20:00.007+08:00

Hi all,
I’ve been missing for quite some time. I’ve got bad news. I think I might want to stop blogging for awhile now cause I feel that the mood for blogging has long gone. Well, I don’t know. See how la eh.

The month of march is coming to it’s end. AND, here comes my birthday! I don’t know if I should anticipate for the day to come or just let it come & go like as if it’s just any other normal day. Seriously, I am not ready to add another digit to my age. I don’t want to grow up just yet. Growing up means there’s a lot of obligations in life & responsibilities to handle. I think the best time of my life or indeed our lives is when we’re still a kid. If I have the power to turn back time, I’d want to be a little kid again, playing happily, having the time of my life without having to worry about anything. How I miss those times.:(

On a lighter note, there are 2 days I’m looking forward to. A date with my dearest salwa on thurs. Another date with my nyonya-speaking-pelat zizah on fri. :)) yeah. It’s been decades since I last set my eyes on my gorgeous dearest salwa (how irony, I just bumped into her a few weeks back :-s ). Let me recall, the last time we were on a date was like in the mid of 2007? Woah.. that’s pretty long uh? Oh it wasn’t a date cause there was a third party. It was an outing together with Ada. Ok, we shall have a proper date this time round alright. :) & we shall ‘berasmaradana’ (as what she says) at somewhere I know, you know. Hehe. :P & it’s also been quite sometime since I last dated my beautiful nyonya zizah. Eh you know, I miss singing that “ there’s something in the way you look at me… ” song to you. Haha. I almost completely forgot abt that song you know. ok let’s go touring around changi airport shall we? I want to see the new terminal 3!

Ok people, I don’t have a wish list for my birthday.If you’re thinking of what to get for my birthday, I think the best present that anyone could ever give me is to ALWAYS remember me in their prayers. That’ll make me happy :) . don’t have to trouble yourself. Oh I think a birthday is not proper without a cake right? So I think just buy me a cake will do. Preferably either fruit or choc cake. :)

Ok till here then. =)

2008-03-08T16:00:00.004+08:00

Aloha,
I’m pretty bored right now. Everyone’s out except me & bro. I just couldn’t find something to do to cease the boredom. & so I’m here trying to update my blog. But I’m running out of ideas of what to talk about. & so I decided to do some questionnaires which I found somewhere. Well, maybe it sums up what I’ve been up to so far. :)

Oh ya first thing first, I’d like to give a birthday shout out to……

happy birthday!
All the best wishes to u!
Be a good girl & always listen to mummy ok?
(ehem iqah ni pandai2 jek eh copy paste gmbr org. nyonya zizah u better let her see this. Glamour skejap eh syidah. Lol. )
ok, syidah, mine’s coming soon. You know what I want right? Understand eh. Good girl.

Ok now. Here it goes…
1. Do you know someone named Amanda?
= yes.

2. Do you know anyone named Chris?
= I guess so. Can’t really recall.

3. Ever kissed anyone with a namestarting with R?
= no.

4. Do you have any siblings?
= yes. 2 elder bros 1 younger sis.

5. Do you look alike?
= with my sis I guess pretty much alike. Also I do look a bit alike like my 1st bro, while my sis with my 2nd bro.

6. What color are the walls in yourbedroom?
= ORANGE! & I’m loving it. =)

7. Are you named after a grandparent?
= no.

8. Are you a heavy sleeper?
= used to. Now I’ve somehow become a light sleeper. Sometimes I’m easily wakened by even a slightest noise. And that’s annoying cause to get back to sleep is not easy.

9. Who did you last hug?
= sister. In bed. =X ok we sleep on the same queen sized bed.

10. Are you taller than 5"3?
= how’s the measurement in cm?

11. Eaten a bug before?
= no. gross! right now i have an issue with bedbugs! They just wouldn't let me sleep in peace.

12. Ever see a dead body other than at a funeral?
= oh yes! 2 years back there’s this depressed old man committed suicide by jumping off a building that’s just opposite my block. & I couldn’t sleep for nights cause I kept picturing his dead body. Eerie ok.

13. Who was the last person to callyou?
= who? Not sure eh. My hp hasn’t been really active for long.

14. Who was the last person to send youa text message?
= azizah.

15. Who was the last person you wentout with?
= dearest papa & sister. That was on wed night. Dinner at TM.

16. Do you like to read?
= yes very much. =) reading expands your knowledge. So Read! Read! Read!

17. Are you jealous?
= no. but I am envious of those people who had achieved something in life. Their successes inspire me. =)

18. What made you smile today?
= looking at mama’s calm face early in the morning made me smile. =)
= seeing that papa is doing well today made me smile. =)
= getting to see nenek’s face for another time made me smile. =)
= having sister to run errand for me today made me smile. =)
= having another opportunity to see the beautiful world today made me smile. =)
= basically there’s a lot of things that made me smile. How about u? have u find anything that made u smile :) ?

19. What are you doing today?
= nothing much. Just waiting for the family members to come back home. I’m bored.

20. What did you do yesterday?
= house chores. TV. Computer. Eat. Had 2 boxes pizza delivered home. Watched pesta pesta pesta, & I’m super excited Imran Ajmain won an award for a category called Penyanyi paling jiwang. Haha. Sleep.

21. What would you do if you win a million dollars?
= first thing first, I’ll plan what to do with the money. Then maybe contribute some to my parents to perform haj. Or maybe I should follow them also. Is it too young? No right? Ok then after that donate some to charity & some share among family members. Spend some on the things that I’ve been dying to spend on. And the rest save!

22. How many hours did you sleep forlast night?
= 7 or 8 hrs.

23. Who was the last person you had asleep over with?
= sister. I am afraid to sleep alone in the dark room. =X

24. Who's the last person that creepedyou out?
= no one. :)

25. Do you like your school?
= not really sure. Have been trying to like it. All I know is that I need to work hard to get the desired results and really can’t wait to graduate!

26. What jewelery are you wearing?
= none.

27. Anything fun happen today?
= nothing really fun.

28. Anything bad happen today?
= no.

29. Are you mad at anyone?
= no. when I get mad I’ll do something which calms me down.

30. What's the last thing you bought?
= the last time I went shopping was a week ago. I bought some new clothes. :)

31. Have you cried today?
= haha no. I don’t cry now.

32. Do you think that someone isthinking about you right now?
= I think a lot of people are thinking about me right now. Haha sungguh prasan.com!

33. Do you have shoes on?
= right now no. sometimes I do put on slippers at home.

34. Whats the closest thing to you that is pink?
= a small accessories box.

35. Do you get annoyed easily?
= haha no la. You’ll always see me smile-smile. ;)

36. Do you like someone?
= I like a lot of people. And I mean I love them. They are dearest to me.

37. Do you like to draw?
= used to in sec school. Now it’s been long since I last hold on to a pencil!

38. Are you good at saving money?
= yes very much! Right now I’m saving for something that I want to get for my bdae treat. ;)

39. What should you be doing right now?
= don’t know eh. I don’t have a schedule.

40. Do you have a tattoo?
= no have.

41. Do you still watch cartoons onSaturday mornings?
= rarely. Depends on my mood.

42. Is there a secret you've nevertold your best friends?
= yes. Some secrets are really meant to be Secrets. Only you yourself are entitled to know it. Because you’ll never know, the ones you trusted may be the ones who might stab you in the back. Even best friends can do that. Things can happen.

43. Have you ever told someone you hated them?
= no la. I mean hate is quite a strong word to use on people. I only dislike people with certain characteristics. Yes, I did tell them after knowing them quite close.

44. Have you ever changed your clothesin the car?
= hahaha. I ever changed from jeans to my school skirt in the cab. That happened when I was in sec 1 or 2. super hilarious!

45. What are you doing in 2010?
= not sure eh. Maybe by that time I have gotten my diploma. I guess I might be working part time and at the same time I’m under NIE. I want to be a teacher!!!

46. What is your ringtone?
= an oldie song by P Ramlee titled ‘hai ubat’. I like it ok. Now thinking of changing to another song by him also titled sua sue kemoning. Hahah. :)

ok I am done. Hip hip hurray!

2008-02-19T14:26:00.003+08:00

I just had a lunch meal with dearest papa at home. After which he turned on the radio. And then I heard this familiar song. A Malay song. I hummed along with the song with my mind wondering where and when have I heard of the song before. Thanks to the chorus part; it gave away an obvious clue. Oh well…

Ouh hhheelloo! hmm.. it seems like I have not been a good master of this blog uh. Not that I’ve been busy with stuffs and that this blog has to be neglected. In fact, I do have an ample time to update as much entries as I want to this blog. It’s just that I simply do not know what to write about anymore. Furthermore, I don’t think a lot of people bother to read my blog so I don’t see the need as to why I have to update my blog on a regular basis. For now, it depends on my mood how often I want to update this blog. :)

Ok so life has been so-so for me. Frankly, I have been spending my holidays at home. My sojourn at home has been good so far. With family members to spend quality time with, what more can I ask for? And with books to indulge in, boredom rarely pays me a visit. Of course in between the stay I did go out with either family or friend(s). I do want to see the world too you see. And oh speaking of which, can someone please bring me out on my birthday? I’d really wish to attend the cooking session with Chef Khaled which happens to fall on my birthday. Of course registration is needed and right now I don’t have the slightest idea if the registration is still open. Ok on which day it is, you all go figure. :) I wish… I wish…

Oh dear. I’m afraid I might have to cancel the date with the darling azizah this Thursday. I have the instinct that something might cropped up & worst still, I don’t know why lately most of my instincts appeared to be true. Hmm…We’ll just see how ok, hopefully nothing of that sort happens.

i've been thinking of watching this...

And this...

okay.

cheriooosssssss.

2008-02-01T21:49:00.000+08:00

The semester has ended; like finally. Time for me to take a breather. If you're wondering what I'll be doing for the long recess; well, I have made up my mind to use this time to freshen up myself. That means, I won't be taking any part-time job. I'm going to make full use of this time to let loose myself. && if anyone of you are dying to ask me out, do so without hesitation. ;)) cuz for sure this time round I wont turn down your offer. *evil grin*. heh. BUT with one condition. That is to ask me a few days in advance. I know I very troublesome eh. hehe.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! ;D
& oh a special note: to zizah darling, anytime if u want go shopping must tag me along ok! i long time tak shopping. ;( remember tau. muacks!

2008-01-27T20:14:00.000+08:00

I can’t help it but I always wonder why humans like to say something but tend to do a different thing. It is just something like promises. You give promises but ended up not fulfilling them. Human beings, no matter what, will not get away with contradiction. In one way or another, realizing or without realizing, they’ll always tend to contradict themselves. Yes I can say that the statement made is somehow true. Just do some self-reflections. I’m sure in your journey of life you’ve made some declarations or statements along the way (doesn’t matter whether if it’s about yourself or about something you like or dislike or it can even be a critic given to someone; it can be anything). But how many of these statements/declarations actually compliment with what you’re doing? Ok this may get a bit confused, I know.

Alright like for instance, you may say something like this to a friend, “you know, I don’t fancy these types of people. Eee these mats ah, they are so & so & so. The way they dress themselves are so & so & so. If I were to have a boyfriend, I don’t want to have a boyfriend who’s a mat. Eee they are just not my cup of tea la. Their characters suck man. & bla bla bla bla…..” (no offence to anyone & not pointing to anyone in particular). And then after a while, your friend saw you going out with someone categorized under the not your cup of tea species. Contradicting ain’t it?

Ok let me quote another example. You may say this to a friend, “ eh you see that girl? Gosh she really does not have respect for her own body. Just look at the way she dresses herself up. There’s only little strings attached to that whole piece of walking flesh. What the hell is she thinking? So gross.” And then after some time, God knows what’s going through inside that little head of yours, you’re getting more and more attracted to dress the way like that girl you had critic earlier.

See the point? Humans do contradict themselves.

2008-01-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

Changes. In life, changes are inevitable. Whether you like it or not you’ll have to accept it. Adapting to a change may be awkward initially. But as time goes by, you’ll get used to it. This applies to a change of environment. Be it a change of school, a change of work place or even a change of residential area. But what if you’re facing a change of a human’s characters? Worst still, a change of a human’s heart? How will you react and cope in the situation mentioned? I don’t mind having to face a change of environment. Because I am immune to those kind of changes. But not the latter change. It is those kinds of human changes that bother me and sometimes it drives me nuts. Though I have had experiences of those kinds of changes, I am yet to get immune. I don’t know. Is it just me or the world just doesn’t get enough? I am tired. But I know I need to have patience to go through this test. I know and I have realized that this is just one of God’s ways to test my faith towards Him. And that’s what I have been doing all this while; putting all my faith in Him. Ok well this is not the point I wish to put across. Let me just get straight to the point.

I am still in a state of shock with some facts that I’ve found out recently. I’ve known this fellow for quite some time. Let’s name this fellow M shall we? M and I used to be very close once. Then, I had always admired M for M’s personality. I’d always looked up to M whenever I faced a downfall. I had always thought that M is someone who always keeps to *his/her words. I trusted M cause I believe that M is true to him/herself. I had always respected M for the way M handled things in life. Easy to say M used to be my source of inspiration in life. Then slowly, I see the changes in M. I don’t know what has been going through in that little head of M. M is no longer the M I used to know. It saddened me to see M not the way M used to be. I don’t know how to describe about this. All I know is that M’s changes is affecting me. I had always hold on to M’s words. I had always keep M’s words safe in my head. Up till now M’s words are still fresh in my head. I guess with the situation now I have to let go of M’s words. Now, I realized that M’s words are not worth belonging to any meaning. I don’t understand M anymore…

*M’s true identity can’t be revealed. M is just another human being I know.*

Well whatever it may be, I’m facing this obstacle with much patience. I am coping with it and am persevering.

2008-01-19T18:02:00.001+08:00

The network connection at home has been behaving like a gay nowadays. And for that I don’t have the ability to access to the internet. Waaaaaahhhhhhh…….. So, this explains the lack of updates in this blog. Poor bloggie. :(

Well, school’s been fine minus the hassle of travelling from home to school and vice versa. Time flies. We all know it does. & with that, the semester is going to meet its end point already. That’s like super fast like a speed of lightning eh. And while the students from my batch are able to proceed to the next level of education in this school next semester, I am not. I am not going to whine about what happened which ended me up in this situation. All that I can do is to be responsible for the things that I have done. No one’s to be blamed here except for myself. Once bitten, twice shy.

Watched a Suria channel program ,Sinaran Hati yesterday. It’s a charity show where you are encouraged to contribute donations while being entertained. Well I must say that the program is not that bad. If my favourite artist, Imran Ajmain, performed, I’m more than 100% sure the program will be more than awesome. Ahah! Ish.

Oh h ohh.. I guess.. I think.. I saw my dearest salwa with her bf, faris laily on tv during one of the commercial breaks. I’m not sure if I really saw her. But for sure I know I saw her bf. That’s not a surprise la because he appeared a few times on tv before. Aaahhhh.. I don’t know if that’s her I see on tv or is my eyes just playing a magic trick on me?? Even my sister and zizah recognized her. so much for being a very good friend of her when u don’t even know what she’s been doing eh iqah. Ouh slap me kick me punch me. wah!! if that’s really her, I’m proud of her. I really am. She’s talented and I know she’s been having the interest in acting, singing or whatsoever that’s related. Speaking of which, ahhhh…! Salwa darling I miss you banyak2 n many2 like a monkey misses its banana! ;D Ahah what crap. And the same goes to Ada too if you’re reading this. ;D Well apparently I can’t wait to watch that drama that she’s acting in. If my brain is still working well, I think the title of that drama is Satu Jam(One hour) or something along that line ah. Just wait and see eh.

Ok till here then.
;D

aaahhhh!! missing you two like crazy la.

***I nearly had a dream come true. I was exhilarated and at the same time I was unsure if I have made a wise decision. But all I care was that I know what I wanted and it doesn’t matter what the consequences may be. And in my mind I had listed out the things that I’d do. Also I’d envision how it is going to be in the near time to come. Till I realize that a dream is just a dream. I felt a pang. It was like I’ve gotten a wake up call.***

2008-01-05T22:48:00.000+08:00

My poor baby is now infected with an unknown virus. So much for wanting a good new year start eh. I am left without any choice. By hook or by crook my baby has to get treated by this coming Monday. Or else I'll suffer. And thanks to the uninvited virus, I couldn't get my hands on to my baby for a last minute revision before school resumes on Monday. & speaking of which, there's UT on Monday. Now tell me, how should i react to this situation..?

Bro Johan called me in the morning while i'm having my breakfast today. He asked me out for a treat today. But.. But.. I rejected him. :( Reason: I've got plans to spend the beautiful saturday at home,doing a last minute revision for UTs next week. And the baby has to be sick at this point of time. haiz...

Well, we have already welcomed the year 2008. Since now is still the beginning of the year, i think it's not late for me to wish everyone a Happy New Year. :D
During this period, i guess it's common to see blogs with entries of reviews of the past 1 year and their resolutions for the new year. And so here's my part..

As usual, just a few days before the arrival of a new year, i'll list down my resolutions in a personal book of mine. And this time round, my resolutions for 2008 is somehow slightly different from the previous years'. I am sure each and everyone of us hopes for a better year evry each new year right? And so do i. Most of the list in my resolutions for 2008 is more to my own personal development & nothing close to any materialism. To be abit specific, there's a total of 5 points in the list and each point has its own sub-points. :) & so i hope i'll use this list to help me be a better ME for 2008 and for the years to come. insyaAllah.

&& the first day of 2008 was well spent with my dearest nyonya Azizah. :) Nyonya, i swear i will never ever forget the date 01.01.2008. What a good way to start the year eh nyonya. First you ehem ehem la during our neoprint session. Then ur ehem ehem broke in the middle of the road la. hahah. Well, i'm not going to type in details of what happened so as to spare the embarassment of my dearest Nyonya. See i'm a very good girl right? heh. I shall keep the memory of that day in a space at the back of my brain. For reminiscence.

ok i've said alot. so long already. till here then.
cherios ;)

2007-12-24T16:29:00.000+08:00

And so it was Hari Raya Aidiladha a few days back. Also, it was a day of grief for my family(my mama especially) and for the family of my neighbor. On that fateful day, which is supposed to be spent with joy, mama best friend who’s also our neighbor, left this world. Forever. It was not an unexpected death though as she had been suffering from an illness which had gone to a critical stage before she left us. I felt sorry for mama. I can imagine how it felt like having to lose a closest bestest best friend. It just felt the same like how I lost my former best friend back then in secondary school. It was not caused by a death though. It was just a mere misunderstanding. And to think back, somehow I acted childishly to the situation which caused the friendship to be broken. Up till now it hasn’t been mended. I did try to seal back the broken friendship. But all my efforts were put to a waste. And then I became tired of trying and gave up eventually. During that phase, I felt super depressed.
My point here is that we must always learn to appreciate the value of friendships that we have with our friends. And not to start appreciating it when you lost it.
Back to the former case; well, I’ll always pray for mama happiness. And mama best friend will always be in our hearts and memories. Al-Fateha to her.

ok enough about death. Whatever it is, life still has to go on.

Alright, just before Hari Raya, on last Monday the 17th, I went to the school open house right after a CE activity trip. And I dated my sis. =) To my disappointment, the open house was not as happening as last year’s and definitely lesser crowds. And it was a good thing that I wasn’t involved in the event itself. Brought my sis touring around the school and I think she finds my school interesting. Like as in the structures of the buildings and the facilities la. I am not sure if she has the intention to pursue her studies in rp. If so, I’ll be more than happy as I have a companion. :)

Well my 3 weeks recess is now left with only two weeks. Ouh time flies. And to be truthful, I have been spending my days hibernating at home. I am just super lazy to be out of the house u see. Sorry to those that I’ve turned down your offer of dating me out eh. No offence eh. Well, seriously, I’d like to spend the break meaningfully such as spending a lot of quality time with my family. =)

Haha I don’t know that I had so much to talk about. Ok till here then.

2007-12-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

will be back with updates.
stay tune, will be right back!

take care evryone.

2007-12-08T22:32:00.000+08:00

beautiful isn't it?
well, sunflowers are loves. =D don't you think so? =)

2007-12-05T15:39:00.000+08:00

i stumbled upon this video at my sister's fren's blog. it's about a malay lady creating chaos in an mrt. it's understood that she had just been dumped by her bf. poor thing. && i happened to be one of the unlucky souls to be in that particular train(sitting on a seat on the same row where she's standing) enduring the noise pollution that she'd produced.if i'm not wrong, tt happened on one of the days during the fasting month & i was on the way from wdlnds to paya lebar to meet a friend of mine. i'm not trying to be mean posting this video here. it is so immoral to act that way esp in a view of public. sungguh memalukan kaum kan?? ish2..

2007-12-01T17:27:00.000+08:00

so i've been tagged by a friend of mine. a lot of thanks eh to wan. actually im so the lazy to do the questionaire. but since im dying to post something here & have got nothing to talk abt, putting up the questionaires here isn't a bad idea after all. so here it goes... two sections of questionaires in one post.. enjoy reading........

--ONE--

Favourite colour: orange, yellow, blue, purple, white, green
Favourite Food: prefer Chinese cookings. =)
Favourite Movie: I love comedy & action movies. Now been quite sometime have not been to the cinema.
Favourite Sport: cycling, badminton. I’d love to try out bowling.
Favourite Day of the Week: Friday, Sunday =)
Favourite Season: all I like. ;)
Favourite Ice Cream: mint choc chip. && cornettos ice cream!

current:
CurrentMood: happy as always. ;))
Clothes: blue shirt & pants.
Current Desktop: 3 smiley flowers. =))
Current Time: 4.55pm
Surroundings: peaceful.
Current Annoyances: sleepy eyes!
Current Thoughts: why am I not revising my school work now??

Firsts:
First Best Friend: siti syazwani.
First Crush: shhh…
First Movie: if im not wrong it was lion king. hehe
First Lie: duno.
First Music: nursery rhymes.

Lasts:
Last Drink: Mineral water
Last Car Ride: on wed on a cab from tampines to home.
Last Crush: oreo crush.
Last Phone Call: sister
Last CD Played: none.

Have you ever?
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: yes most of the time. =)
Have you ever broken the law : should be.
Have you ever been arrested: no. im one super duper decent small girl. Heh.
Have you ever been on TV: not on & not in. been outside tv many times!
Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: No, crazy thing to do.
Random 5 things you are good at: smiling=))). Not being punctual. Releasing of laughing gases. Giving advises. Procrastinating.
4 things you've done today: tv. Tv. Tv. Tv.
5 People to tag: see ur tagboard.

--TWO--

The person who tagged you is? The one is wan. haha
Your relationship with him/her is? Friends.
Your impression of him/her? Friendly, can be funny at times, talk & talk & talk non-stop..! haha
The most memorable thing he/she has done for you? Hmm, duno eh. Just noe her this sem.
If he/she becomes your lover, you will? Become crazy!
If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve? One of us has to change gender. How abt that? I leave it to u wan. ahah
If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...? pull her hair & make a mess out of it.haha watch out eh wan.
If he/she becomes your enemy the reason is? She doesn’t want to share food with me. ;(
Your overall impression of him/her? Good girl. =))
How do you think ppl ard you will think abt that person? Very nice.
The character you love yourself are? I take responsibility for the things that I do.
On the contrary, the character you hate yourself? none.
The most ideal person you want to be is? Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. I don’t want to & cant be him but I want to be like him & follow his traits. =D
For ppl that care & like you, say something to them? I love u all. ;D
Pass this quiz to 10ppl that you wish to know how they feel:
See ur tagboard.

ok i am officially done! yay!

2007-11-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

To my dear friend,
life isn't always bad. watever ure gg thru, always rmmbr God's always ther to help u thru if u turn to HIM. just dun let the things tt ure gg thru make u fall so far. find tt inner strength to overcome the obstacles tt ure facing nw. dun blame life for it is. this is just a challenge for u so tt u’ll go a notch up in ur own self-development. God is fair, HE won’t let u handle things that u cant. u gotta believe in urself & always be grateful to HIM that at least ure given a chance to see the blue sky tday. dun give up in life cuz life is a gift to us. a very precious gift. Always keep in mind that the sky’s not always grey also, it is not always clear. imagine life like a ride on a roller coaster. one moment ure up, the other moment u’ll be at the down part. that’s actually the excitement part of life if u can see. go take a breather, find peace in ur mind & soul. do some soul searching, relax ur mind & calm ur soul. & always keep in mind that ure nv alone. & &
no matter what never ever ever turn ur back towards God. always seek for help from HIM. im always here if u need a talk. though I may not seem to care, I do understand wat ure gg thru. I really do. ;)

2007-11-24T22:55:00.000+08:00

click here. a ppt slide reminding us about death. a very good slide which gives a really deep impact to me. hope it does to u. this slide somehow makes u reflect about ur life. i urge u to see it. life is too short my dear friends.do something now to prepare urself for the day. it'll come anytime, unexpectedly. do it now before it's too late.

ps: see it with the speaker on.

2007-11-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

unexpected thing happened this morning. i was late for school (not something new to me. heh) and i do not know why my gut feelings told me that there's a need for me to take the train from tanah merah stn instead of the simei stn (oh if i'm not late i'll usually take bus from bdk interchange) .and woah! i was really exhilarated. i bumped into and old good sec sch friend of mine. he was non other than GKH aka goh kwang hian. :D:D double happiness i tell u. it's been like decades since i last saw that boy. cute la he. and the sad thing is that i was told that the 3 of them(he + 2 more frens) have been trying to contact me. and i was not reachable. sad. i truly miss them truckloads. happy happy happy. ;D

2007-11-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

fear, a true enemy for us.
the existence of fear hinder us from doing things beyond our capability.
when there is fear, nothing can be achieved.
most of us usually succumb to fear.
and when that happens, unwanted regret feelings developed.
therefore, it is crucial to combat fear of any kind.

there are many ways we can do to banish fear. when fears are banished, half a battle's won.
the other half is to accomplish/achieve the impossible. it all depends on us.

one way to banish fear is to take action. fear can paralyze us and literally sap our strength. however if we can gather enough inner determination to take action to do what we fear; we find that fear will immediately evaporate.

whatever ways one may take to overcome fear, it is very important to have faith in oneself. the only one that's capable of helping oneself and make a change is himself.

---- the only thing to fear is fear itself----

:D

2007-11-17T18:26:00.000+08:00

i am sad. im sure you'd notice something's different in my blog. yea ive removed the sunflower pics which is supposed to beautify my blog. i had to do that because when this site is viewed by some of my friends, somehow it looked distorted. not nice! really..
it looked perfectly nice and beautiful on my comp though.:(
nevertheless, i've added some features awhile ago. can u spot them? hee :)

cherios,
;D

2007-11-13T10:24:00.000+08:00

gamble.

why do human beings gamble?

do gamblers turn millionaire over night? or lets say just in a few days? or just after a few games?

what's really in the mind of these gamblers?

do they take gambling as a form of a get rich quick scheme or just as a leisure activity?

or is it just a game of strategy and chance?

why is gambling so prevalant nowadays?

*******************************************

what do you think??
*******************************************

many of the phrases we use in conversation have roots in gambling. think of how many times a day you start a sentence with, "I bet…" here are a few more examples:
“the odds are…”
“it’s a sure thing!”
“it’s a crapshoot.”

it’s a safe bet (another phrase that comes from gambling) that u’ve often used these phrases. all these common sayings prove that gambling has been ard a long time. long enough to have created some myths. here are some popular myths and facts about gambling.

1) myth: gambling is a way to make money. is it??

fact: more often, gambling is a way to lose money. if you gamble, think of it as a kind of entertainment you hav to pay for, just like a movie or dinner with friends. that can help you keep gambling in perspective.

2) myth: people can predict if a coin toss is gg to come up heads or tails.

fact: each flip of the coin is an independent event. it doesn't matter what came up in the previous flips. the chance of heads or tails coming up in a single flip is 50%, regardless of how many times you flip the coin.

3) myth: there are systems tht make it easier to predict winning lottery numbers.

fact: it doesn't matter how you pick the numbers; your odds of winning are always the same. take a lottery like Lotto 6/49 for example. all the numbers are put into a drum and mixed up. the selection is purely by chance. each number has the same chance of being selected (a 1 in 49 chance to be exact). your odds of winning the jackpot with one ticket are 1 in 13,983,816.

4) myth: people can generally win their money back if they have a losing streak.

fact: this is not true. casinos exist because most people don't win their money back. think about it: how long would a casino stay in business if it paid out more money than it took in? the fact is that most gamblers lose far more money than they win in these places.

****************************************************************

if those facts are said to be true then why do human beings still insist on gambling??

2007-11-09T15:45:00.000+08:00

hi all,

as u can see, i've just revamped my blogskin. :D and i did this with my own hard effort. ok, not that i can say this is my own masterpiece. but.... i did some transformations to the layout from the original piece. considering that i am an amateur in this skill, i think i've done pretty good. give me a round of applause la.. hehe.. *clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap* not bad after all eyh.

u noe, it took me some time to modify the blogskin. and after all has been done, i couldn't believe with what i see with my own pair of eyes. i marveled with the end product that i've produced. and and of course, i LOVE what i see now. :D :D so.. i'd really appreciate if u readers could leave some constructive comments. good or bad, i accept both. ;)

click here to view the original piece which i modified from.

just for the benefits of those who are not familiar with blogskin.com.
when ure alrdy at the page link stated above, scroll down the page till u see the 'preview it' link. click on it to preview the blog skin.

do make comparisons and comments aite.

cherios,
;D

just for haha

2007-10-31T00:29:00.000+08:00

i was surfing the net. and i found some funny jokes which really crack me up. one of those that i like is the ‘yo mama joke/insult’. i’m sure a lot of u guys have heard some of the ‘yo mama joke/insult’ before. well here are some of my favourites. read them at your own risk.

WARNING:this is just for pure entertainment aite. after this don’t u go ard insulting other ppl’s mom. haha.

there’s a lot more actually, i’ll use them in my next posts ok.

enjoy!

-- YO MAMA SO FAT--
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

--YO MAMA SO STUPID--
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo mama so stupid that she thought that menopause was a function on a remote controller.

Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

2007-10-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

2007-10-21T22:39:00.000+08:00

papa's been admitted to hospital late last night. it saddened me seeing him enduring the pain throughout the past 3 weeks. though i may not show him much concern, deep down in my heart i do care. it's just that im not that expressive. when i saw tears rolling down his cheeks, i felt something that i've never felt before. it's indescribable. that's something which i will always keep close to my heart. well, upon seeing the glow in his eyes just now i felt much much relieved. i know this happens for a reason. and i can see the blessing in whatever that's happening now. i'll always keep on praying that he'll get well soon. the house is different without him. really very different. ok enough said.

tkcr
cherios. ;)

2007-10-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

this poor bloggie looks stagnant. kick me for abandoning it for too long. poor thing eh.. what to do, im a busy woman after all. step only ehk. hehehe..

i've been delaying this (kick me again) ; actually, i'd like to give 2 shout outs.

1st:Slamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all my muslim friends. it's been a week we celebrate hari raya. time flies eh? to all my muslim friends who know me, do forgive me for all my wrongdoings aite. and and... ENJOYYSSS! ;))

2nd:Happy Belated Birthday to the dearest wife of the apek jual sayur kat pasar!! (hehe i noe im a tad late. or very late? doesn't matter la.) oh this woman very the modern noe. wait i show you the pic eh. u're sure to be stunned by the beauty of this wife of apek, or in short form, she's aka nyonya la ehk. well nyonya, i wish u all the best in ur future endeavors eh. u getting old already, must be more hardworking ok! must work work hard! and study study hard! and also, be a good nyonya and listen to mommy ok. ALL THE BEST TO YOU! amin.

so how?? any hope? haaha... nyonya..nyonya..

now what? i think that's it for today's entry. i am shagged. and the brain refuse to function properly. i wonder how's that. haha.

k la tkcr evryone.

cherios

;)

2007-10-01T16:09:00.000+08:00

i finished lesson about 1/2 hour ago and now feeling so mundane in class. pathetically and surprisingly, only 10 souls turned up for today's lesson. that is an irony cuz the fact that i actually like lesser people turning up for class. the lesser people the better cuz this indicates that lesson will somehow end earlier than the usual timing. less people = less groups = less presentations = go home early!! haha.
but right now i am waiting for auntie azizah to finish with her work. like busy woman la that girl.
ish2.
then i thought of heading to bedok to get some stuffs.
and now i am bored. auntie zizah faster lei.
i think my stomach is having an issue with me. cause i do not know why everytime when i am in class and when the class is so silent, it started to rumble and make so much noise like nobody's business. it does not happen when the class is so noisy.
aiya. ok la im going off oredy.

tkcr people.

2007-09-30T17:32:00.000+08:00

im getting more and more lazy to update this blog of mine.
so many things are going through in my mind right now and i do not know how to form them into words and sentences.
dun mind me, there won't be a flow in this entry cuz i'll just type down whatever that i can think of.

life is getting better and im beginning to pull through with the test God had put me up with.
the holy month of ramadhan has greatly helped me to be more patient and be wiser. whenever i feel like giving up, i stop and think. think abt the times when i really feel contented in life, think abt what i have learnt abt life, think abt my achievements in life, and think abt what i have and not have done in life. i realised that life is the most fragile gift given to us by God and we must not put that to a waste. i strongly believe that whatever happens in life, there's always a blessing in disguise. it is from all the troubles and hurdles that we've been/are going through in life which make us a much more stronger person in time to come. after all, what is life without obstacles?
whatever it is, do not lose hope for God is always at work in our lives to help us through with the difficulties that we're facing. to all my muslim friends, do make good use of this holy month of ramadhan to clear your mind and heart from any worries. DO NOT ever stop praying to God cuz once you do, there is no way that HE will help you through in whaever difficulties ure facing. this is what i always keep in mind : if i stop praying to God and forget abt HIM, HE too, will forget abt me and not bother to hear any of my cries.
well people, go search for ur inner peace. i am beginning to gain back the inner peace that i've lost. and i hope i won't let go of it again. *thank you Allah.*
you know, i kinda feel sad cuz the month of ramadhan is going to come to an end. and this makes me wonder. have i been good? have i been a better person? have i perform enough ibadah? have i done enough good deeds? is there any change in me yet? will i ever get the chance to meet the next ramadhan?
i really hope that for the last 10 days of ramadhan i'll work extra hard for Allah. it's ok if i aint one of the lucky souls to experience the night of Lailatul Qadar. but at least i know that my hard work will be paid off. insyaAllah.
all the best to you all people.

ok before i forget, here's a birthday shout out to my dearest fren, faizana ahmad.
HAPPY 18TH BIRHTDAY DEAR NANA!

.
may u have a blessed life surrounded with ur loved ones and may u succeed in whatever things that you do.
well, im glad to have such a great fren like you who'd tolerate all my nonsense and give me the chance to be someone whom u can trust. and im glad to say that our almost 12 yrs of friendship is not a waste at all. i've learnt alot of things from you. and for that, sincerely from the bottom of my heart i thank you for being such a good friend. ;) i'll always remember you in my prayers.

i have a confession to make. i miss my family. i really do. it's not that i dun get to see my family members everyday. yes, physically i do see them evryday. but i feel that there's something that's missing in the family. could it be the family bond? i guess so. time is different now. things changed. i missed those times when our family would spent alot of quality times together. we shared jokes, shared meals, we played games together, we went on outings together, watched tv together, and etcetera. now my siblings are all grown up and we tend to mind our own business. sometimes i do have the thought of doing something to gain back the bond. but i just don't have the power to do anything. all that i can do is to pray to God to make things better. i believe that one day, just one fine day, God will grant my wish. insyaAllah.

i think i want to change the skin of my blog. i want to start something new. i don't wish to blog about stuffs that are too personal anymore. i guess i shall do it on my free time.

i think that's all for now. take care everyone.

;)

2007-09-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

school is starting pretty soon like as in 2 or 3 days more? and come to that, i have been thinking what have i been doing for the entire past 3 weeks of hols? these 3 weeks just feels like only 3 days. procrastination has been my true companion for the past weeks. i have promised myself like a thousand times to complete PP which has been left hanging in the middle of nowhere. well it seems that i always succumb to procrastination. arrgg.. how do i survive with this? i need HELP!
frankly speaking, i am NOT looking forward for school this coming sem. but then again i have vowed like a million times that i'll be a good girl for the coming sem. thanks to my 'hardwork' in previous sem that i failed my modules badly. this is not something to be proud of ok. i must learn to nurture a passion for IT to keep me going to school. motivation from friends is much needed and appreciated. hopefully i can endure just another 16 weeks of school. insyaAllah.
time pass fast. and speaking of which, i cant wait for the month of november to come by. 2 reasons why.
1st: submission of PP and done with it.
2nd: my mom has finally agreed to allow me to undergo facial treatment for my blemished skin. much yayness! i have been yearning to have that smooth and flawless skin which i used to have before hormones imbalance spoils it all. and i am tired of putting on make-up everytime i go out. actually i dun really fancy putting on make-up. i just don't feel right. it's just like im showcasing a fake face to people. i prefer to be natural. i very much appreciate natural beauty. i dun put on make-up to impress others, least to attract any random bloke. i do so to conceal the flaws and to at least look confident. hopefully after all the treatment process end, i don't have to worry about putting on make-up anymore when going out. ;D

ok guess im done.

happy fasting to all my muslim friends.;D let us all do good deeds in this holy month of ramadhan.

2007-09-09T21:44:00.000+08:00

life is pretty stressful right now. i am tired of handling everything in this life. i realised that i am no longer that happy-go-lucky girl who'd always curve a smile on her face every now and then. i am no longer that kind of girl who is able to handle things in an optimistic way. everything seems too excruciating to handle. life is now pure of black and white. i do not know what has come into me. every now and then i'd isolate myself from everyone and just be alone. loner. i am a loner. everynight i'd cry in bed to ease the pain. every night i'd pray that tomorrow will be better. and when morning comes i'd wish that i hadn't wake up at all. ive messed things up. just feel like giving up. nobody understands how i feel right now. im still searching for something that's missing in me. something that makes me understand the point of life. something that will bring back colors in my life. something that will calm me everytime im in pain or when im lost. something that makes me feel im worth living. i've yet to find that something. tell me how do i go about searching for that something?????????

2007-08-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

i am supposed to come out with a plan for my PP. i should have submitted the plan 2 weeks back. but i kept procrastinating. oh ive always been good at that. seesh. and now i am stuck. how do i start abt doing it? ok, i hope i'll make full use of this 3 weeks holidays completing this damn project. a must! this is so that i dun have to worry much abt it when sch reopens. tmr shall meet the friends to work on pp together. yeah.

2007-08-23T12:18:00.000+08:00

i don't expect much. what's going to happen, im just going to let it happen. experiences has taught me alot. im not going to be extreme abt this. enough of all the things that i have been through. i do not know how to convey the message. but clear enough, i just want u to understand that life has not been easy for me. not for now. i am still lost in the world of illusion; still finding the way out. searching for my own happiness is what i have always been doing. my soul is still wandering around aimlessly without any purpose. my confused mind is still looking for an answer. an epitome of unhappiness. its too excruciating. now tell me, what's the purpose of me doing this?

2007-08-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

humble apologies, i don't think im going to upload pics from the ndp celebration. the pics are quite alot and it's going to be a hassle for me to upload all.
oh i went to marina bay again on fri the 17th to witness the biggest and beautiful fireworks i've ever seen. serious, its worth the long wait i tell you. and i took a video of the 15 minutes long firework. cool cool cool.

cherios.

2007-08-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

i wish to vent my frustrations and disappointment here.

I AM REALLY DISAPPOINTED WITH MY MOM'S ELDEST SON. SERIOUS. I HAVE LOST TOTAL RESPECT FOR HIM. I CANT TOLERATE HIS SHIT ANYMORE. I FEEL TWICE THE PAIN THAT MY MOM IS FEELING. GET A LIFE PLEASE. SO MANY CHANCES HAS BEEN GIVEN AND YET YOU NEVER CHANGE. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO KNOCK SOME SENSE IN YOUR GOD-KNOWS-WHAT-YOU'RE-THINKING HEAD. MORON.

shall not continue any further; afraid that i might get carried away. see i still spare a thought for ur reputation and despite all the shit u've done i still have ur welfare at heart. have u ever spared a thought for your own family's welfare??? right now i feel like strangling you and giving u a hard, tight slap. oh if ure younger than me, i shall not hesitate in doing that. and then i shall shout and scream my lungs out at you while knocking some sense inside your head. i dun care if i gona look and sound like a crazy woman. u've gone too far and you deserve more than that.

AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

ok i know that's not a right way to start my post. somehow something happened and i need to let go of the unwanted feelings before it takes control of me.

actually the current highlight of my life now is nt about what i have ranted above. it's about the ndp celebration. i know it has passed but hey its nothing wrong to share my excitement wit my avid readers ryt( oh i don't even know how many ppl actually bother to read my blog :/. cuz currently my blog hasn't been established yet. only a handful of people know the existence of this blog. i like it that way though.). i guess because of my lack in blogging, i didn't keep updated with the things going on in my life. humble apologies for that. i'll post the ndp pics which i took in the next post. im kinda tired now.

till here then.

i miss these two cuties truckload.

cherios.

2007-08-05T21:32:00.000+08:00

ultimate stress.

like serious.

aniway, visited daniel ystd. he seemed alright. but his right leg looks kinda scary. i got the wrong info abt him losing one of his feet. he's such in a pity state. really. cant even move his body cuz of his injured leg. so moral of the story is; never ever ever own or ride a bike or u'll turn up to be temporary paralyzed like him. haha ok im mean.

oh yea, apparently i was not at all alone when i visited him.

this kental gf of mine accompanied me. yay! ;D

believe it or not , these are the only pics of us which are in my possession. haha. slenger.

ok. cherios,

;)

2007-07-31T11:40:00.000+08:00

received a call from bro johan yesterday. its been a long time since i last talked to him. missed him like crazy sey. oh he just called for awhile. it shocked me knowing that daniel was involved in an accident. though it was not critical, he lost one of his feet. thats what bro told me. gona visit him in hospital with the rest. its been centuries since the last time i saw that boy.

i like this color description:
orange--> the joyous color orange frees and releases emotins and alleviates feelings of self-pity and depression. this means that it makes for a wonderful anti-depressant. physically, orange helps to stimulate the appetite and digestive system. different shades of orange, such as apricot and peach, are good for relieving nervous exhaustion. a bright orange shirt will cheer you up and lift your spirit! ;D;D

yeap, this explains as to why i am always going bonkers over ORANGE! can see? =D
haha so random.

ok la nothin much to whine abt.

cherios;
;D

2007-07-29T23:26:00.000+08:00

ok this shall be random. cuz at this point of time, i don't have any idea of what to blog about.

i badly need holidays. this is the time when i can take a breather from school. ( school? oh irony. =X). and also the time when i'll put all my effort in doing PP. damn PP. hopefully i'll make full use of this upcoming hols to complete the project.

and and outings to be planned with the friends. yes FRIENDS!

outing wit sal and ada.

outing wit the whole bunch of ex colleagues; namely nana, kak mas, ezah n atiq, the little ones like amira n aisha, bro johan, azhar and many2 more la.

outing wit the polymates; namely lina, zizah and lisza.

also, outing wit the loved ones la; like family and _________.

oh i changed my blogskin again. i like the simple layaout. =D

gdnitez;

;)

2007-07-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

first and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST FREN, AZALINA!!
she's a big girl now. oh u can never guess how much i miss her. it's been long since we last hang out together and be crazy like we've always been. i simply love her. really. she's like a big sis to me. eversince she's no longer schooling in the same school as me, i felt a lost. serious shit. cuz for all i noe, she's like my source of motivation for me to keep going to school. really miss those times when we'd go to school together every morning and the hanging outs after school almost everyday. those times......

ok now, my stories.
im thankful to God that at last, the swell in my gum is receding. now at least i can begin to chew my food with only a little bit of pain in my gum. yeap. =D

i do not know why these few days i have this kind of feeling of anticipating of something. and i keep looking forward for each brand new day every day. maybe one of these days, a miracle might occur in my life for once. hope so. pray hard. haha. ;)
i really have to admit that im tired of living the kind of life that im leading nw.
sch has always been a bitch to me. i badly want to pursue my passion of becoming a nurse. like serious, tt has been my dream career. due to some reasons i have to drop that dream and passion. what a waste. what's the point of me gg to sch and do something which i dun enjoy doing?? and my instinct tells me that i aint gona do well in the course that im in now. oh then again it defeats the purpose of me gg to sch if in the end i gona fail. useless. oh my almighty God, pls save me....... i do not know what to do nw..
my family; im really blessed to be born in this family. i cant help but i keep feeling worried for my bros. yes, it may seem that i dun care but deep down inside only God knows. oh well i shall not disclose anything here which concerns my family. only good things can be said here.
time flies. my sis is taking her Os this year. i really really hope that she'll be able to do well in the exams. hopefully she won't end up like me and her other siblings. really. im praying for the best for her. insyaAllah.
friends; i may not have alot of close, good friends. but it is better rather than having alot of friends, none of whom understands u. i do have alot of 'hi' and 'bye' friends though.
this bunch of friends of mine understands me. they know me in and out. they are the ones who have seen my true colors. they are the ones who appreciate me for who and what i am. and most importantly, they are there when i need them the most. with their companion, i am not afraid to show my alter ego. and i am always happy whenever they are ard me. thank God for giving me such good friends. ;D

oh my i didn't realise that i actually have so much to blog abt. haha.
i have the thought to revamp my blog but im just plain lazy to do it la. can anyone help me out in this? oh i noe who to find for help. mdm azizah!!! if ure reading this, pls understand understod that ur help is much appreciated eh. hehe.

ok la so long already.
cherios,
;D

2007-07-22T19:40:00.000+08:00

oh my. guess wat? the worst part of my life has been my companion for the past few days. ish. u can never guess how torturing it is for me to go through with this id**t thing that has been clinging on to me since friday, the 20th. i cant even utter a word properly. i cant even consume solid foods. all that i can do is to just look at others around me in envy as they talk happily with one another and savor their fav food with much appettite. *sigh*
i wonder what's the cause for this to suddenly appear in my mouth. oh in case ure wondering what i'm referring to, it's actually my swollen gum la. and out of all positions, it has to grow at the back of my mouth. wth. its hard to even swallow my own saliva, let alone a mashed food. and i've been drinking more than 8 glasses of water each day for the past few days hoping that the swell would recede.

damn painful seyy.. now then i can feel how that auntie zizah suffered when her gum was infected.
oh pls.. can u go away asap?

2007-07-16T14:08:00.000+08:00

im beginning to focus on what i have in life now. im beginning to take control of my own life. i know that without working hard now i wont be able to achieve anything in life. i was lost and now im back on track. ;)

school, i'll be back in action tmr. insyaAllah.

2007-07-05T11:57:00.000+08:00

life is getting better as i can see. apart from school everything has been going on fine. i don't know what more should i ask for. as far as im concern, im grateful of what i have now. i don't want to let go of all the things that are in my grasp now. never will i do that. i cant turn back the time and undo the mistakes that i've made. and now im moving on in life with whatever God has in store for me.
time to start a new fresh life. ;)) and NO MORE DWELLING ABOUT THE PAST.

oh its been ages since i went shopping. i badly miss shopping. i don't even know when im getting my pay. my cosmetic stuffs are drying out and its already time for it to be replenished. and im dying to buy that pearl ion lotion(from my wrkplace) for my blemished skin! its proven to be as effective as that skII skin product u know. the difference is only that this pearl ion lotion is made of 100% of organic ingredients with NO chemical added. u can even consume it. really. ok im gonna get it pretty soon.

ok enough said. cherios.

;)

2007-07-02T14:01:00.001+08:00

i have finally come to my senses. i realised it was a mistake.
i was confused. the decision made was somehow unconscious.
and now i vow it won't happen again. lesson learnt.
note that.

school is getting far away....

2007-06-28T10:35:00.000+08:00

its been long since i last posted anything here.
well my blog looks dead. maeb because only a handful of my frens know the existence of this blog. i prefer it that way though.

i seriously do not know what's becoming of me now. school hasn't been to my interest anymore. the thought of quitting and pursuing my studies in other school has greatly influenced me not to bother about my current school anymore. but to think again, i've wasted lots of my parents' money. i do feel remorsed. if my parents knew about my disappearance form school, they'll surely get upset. you see, it's really not to my intention to make them upset. but i just cant afford dragging myself to school when i know very well that i aint gona do well in this course. :(
how am i going to face the world if i continue to be like this?? im totally ashame of myself. i think i'm going to flunk my grades this semester. double sadness. :( :( if i fail, i've got no where to go.
well, i must be responsible for whatever i've done now. no point regretting it.

oh on a brighter side, i'm starting to keep in contact with the people that i havent been contacting for ages. i miss those bunch of people that i have not been seeing for quite some time. my ex-colleagues, my closest friends and all.. simply everybody that i know.

**tomorrow is the day. it shall be the day. a start for me to be a better someone. a cycle to be broken. yes it gona be.** insyaAllah.

i guess that's for now.

cherios. ;)

2007-06-16T21:30:00.000+08:00

i think I'm drowning
asphyxiating
i wanna break the spell that you've created

i wanted freedom
but I'm restricted
i tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

2007-05-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

hi all,

here's an inspirational story wich i would like to share wit u all lovelies. this story somehow opened up my mind and it gives a real deep meaning for me. i aint sure if u've ever heard of it b4. ok here it goes..

...SOMETIMES YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASONS WHY...

the only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. he prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his few possessions.

but then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. the worst had happened; everything was lost. he was stunned with grief and anger.

"God, how could u do this to me?" he cried.
early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island. it had come to rescue him.

"how did u noe i was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.

"we saw ur smoke signal," they replied.

...............................

well, as u can see from the story above, things that happened to us which we perceived as sumthing bad, somehow turns out to be a blessing for us. it is always easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. so, we all have to always bear in mind that there's always a blessing in disguise in whatever that we are going through now. tho we cant seem to see the blessing nw, with a little bit of patience, sooner or later we'll discover and the blessing will be revealed.

oh well the story above has indeed touched me. it made me think something that i've never thought of before.

ok, hope the story touches u too.

cherios. ;)

2007-05-21T21:26:00.000+08:00

sometimes i ponder.. am i enjoying what i am doing now?
to be frank, i really do not know if the lessons im learning in school are to my interest.
i have vowed to be a good girl but as days pass by, i am getting away, far far away from school.
and i realised that i have yet to achieve something which i can be proud of. sad. :(

i do have the thought of quitting school and pursue my studies somewhere else. to a school which offers a course to my interest.

i used to have a very big passion for nursing. but after hearing those horror and gruesome stories from my mates, i threw tt passion away. how sad. i think somehow now, i still do have the interest in becoming a nurse. my dear fren nana, who's now studying nursing in ite is enjoying herself. i am jealous. :(

other than that i do have the thought to go to a private school and study some business stuffs without the use of pbl system like rp did. seriously, i kinda dislike the system they use in rp. i duno why, i have yet to adapt to the system like other normal students do. i still prefer the traditional method of studying.

guess im done. brain blocked suddenly. seesh.

cherios.

2007-05-16T18:09:00.000+08:00

oh God. forgive me. i havent been a good girl lately. oh tt sucks. :(

i duno what is wrong with me. im seriously beginning to lose interest in my studies. sometimes the thought of downgrading myself from a poly student to an ite student has been the factor of me being away from school for the past week. oh danger. danger. danger.
this is really so unlikely of me. i used to be that goal-oriented kind of girl but its a different thing now. i think i really need to gain back that self-esteem that seemed to be away from my soul.
oh well... its time for me to do some self-reflection..

2007-05-13T20:19:00.000+08:00

my whole body feels wobbly. i can even relate myself to a jellyfish. the whole day i went to a zoo trip with my fam excluding my bros. it wasn't that bad, it wasn't too good either.
it has been quite sometime since i went out with my fam. the feeling is good. ok now i am beat.
my brain isn't functioning well. and i need to do some studying. how can that be..?

i shall be a good girl from now on. yes i must. =)

I DONT WANT TO SKIP ANYMORE CLASSES.
take note of that my friends. no more of such influences ok? (as in skip classes la.)
i feel remorse of what i had done for the past weeks. i shall never do that again.never.

ok im done.

cherios. ;)

2007-05-09T20:15:00.000+08:00

ok i noe i have been on a hiatus for a few days or so. pls pardon me. i just simply duno wat to rant abt. some ppl have been bugging me to update my blog eventhough i have nothing in mind to talk abt.
ok so, the hol tdae was kinda bored for me cuz all i did was to just hibernate at home. so to lessen the boredom, i tried to do some studying to catch up with the lessons that i've missed. note that i use the word 'tried'. so ya, apparently it means that i have not succeeded in getting any knowledge into my head. oh oh.. double trouble. i dont know if i can catch up with the lesson tmr. serves me right for not attending classes. shoot me. somebody pls shoot me in the head. i think i am not in the right state of mind. =x

i duno what is wrong with my body. my menses has not been regular this mth. usually it lasted for only a few days like as in between 5 to 8 days. but i dont noe for wat reason, it stretches to as long as 11 days and is still continuing for duno how many more days. it is really abnormal. mama says i have to wait till the 15th day and that if it hasnt stop by then, i have to see the doc. oh i am afraid of the doc.. =S izit because of the pressure tt im going thru? or izit an indication tt i am not well?? as in i am having some kind of illness..?? oh God i hope its not the latter one. i really hope not. i am very worried.... ;(

on a brighter side, life has been going on good. i have been smiling and laughing for the past few days. i feel blessed being surrounded by my loved ones. thnkiu very muachie to those who have been contributing to my happiness. ;))
ok, i have nothing much to say.
tkcre everyone. =)

cherios.

2007-05-03T22:02:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just feel like running away. far far away. to a place where i think i'll be safe. i wana be away from the life im living now. i wana be away from what im gg thru now. again i've fallen into my own trap. so much for my stupidity. im ashamed of myself. i feel like a total loser. i feel like an idiot. i feel like a fool. oh well.. i can never get things right. im such a troublemaker. . . . .

i am lost. L O S T .

2007-05-02T20:12:00.000+08:00

it was almost perfect. it was wonderful. didnt expect it to turn out that way. well.. life is full of surprises u might say. ;)
it has been quite sometime since i last felt this sense of security. yes, i am feeling secure at last. at the moment i don't know of any right word to describe how im feeling now.
i am loving my life with every seconds and minutes that pass.
at the same time im in a state of total confusion. oh irony.
i am still unsure of what i want in life.
i am still blur of what kind of life i want to lead.
i don't know if i am doing the right thing now.

i am afraid of making tough decisions.
i am afraid to take the next step in life.
i am afraid to fall again.
i am afraid of my flaws being shown.
i am afraid to be discriminated.
i am afraid to be humiliated and be the laughingstock of others.
i am afraid to be a letdown.
i am afraid to face the crowd. =x
oh tell me when can i ever achieve that picture perfect-kind of life?

let me declare this: I AM GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!! yayy! somehow i miss my classmates la. heh. ;p
and.. and.. i vow not to ever skip classes anymore unless if im falling sick. so u ppl witness this. if ever me, nursyafiqah rabani is gona skip class for no valid reason, shoot me. yes, shoot me. oh i dun mean it literally. u noe la. i dun wana die yet.

ok i guess tts it for now. im running out of ideas.

cherios,
;)