Why must things go this way? Am I to blame for all the things that happen right now? Am I the one at fault for the mess? I know I haven’t been a good friend to you for the past 1 or 2 years or so. I have not been treating you well & I think ya, it’s right for you to be angry at me. Yes, I have to admit that somehow I deliberately ignored you all these while. i’m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t want to hurt you cause I know I’ve hurt you a lot. That’s the reason why I did this; it’s for own good. You’ve got the hint. I don’t want to get too close to you as I’m afraid I might be giving you a wrong signal, hence at the same time giving you false hopes. I don’t have the intention at all to break our almost 4 years of friendship. I really don’t. Truthfully, I really do treasure our friendship but I can’t help it, I couldn’t bring myself to be close to you. You don’t understand, it wasn’t easy for me then. I got pressurized by the way you treated me; you were too persistent. I didn’t feel right, I needed my own space. When I was on my own, there were a couple of times I tried to develop that kind of feelings for you. I couldn’t do that, my friend. It was really hard for me, having to force myself to do something which I can’t. It has to come naturally.
It was good to hear from you again yesterday. I’m glad that I saw you yesterday. It’s been so long since the last time we met. I thought when we started to contact again yesterday, it’ll stay that way. Do you know that it took me a lot of courage to send you a simple msg yesterday, telling you that I saw you? I was afraid that you might not want to bother about me anymore. But what a shame. Why does it have to end the way it ended yesterday?? Why?? I guess your interpretation of what I told you is not the same with the message I was trying to convey. There are things which I wanted to tell you. A lot of things happened which I wanted to share with you. I think that’s not going to happen now.
I would really want to amend things between us. I’m longing for us to be close friends like before, putting aside any kind of personal matters/issues related to us. I realized that these personal things have been the barrier for us to keep the friendship alive. :(
Am i to be blamed totally????? Forgive me friend….
